Warning: This is essentially becoming a blog about being pregnant. I typically blog about whatever is on my mind, and, well, I'm thinking an awful lot about pregnancy, so bear with me...maybe it won't last the entire pregnancy...but maybe it will!
When I was pregnant with Bria, I ran around screaming "unfair" an awful lot. Many of my friends were pregnant at the same time, and as I watched them and their (what seemed to me) EASY pregnancies, I was jealous. Very, very jealous. It was maddening to me to wonder all the time why I had to feel so awful for the whole time and barely come out of my house, much less function normally while they exercised, socialized and EVEN KEPT THEIR HOUSES CLEAN. Amazing. Did I mention I was jealous?
Well, I learned a little something when my first friend had her baby. She suddenly had a horrible case of toxemia and almost died. Then I had my baby 2 weeks later. I was blessed with 2.5 hours of hard labor (yes, she was my first child) and only 15 minutes of pushing. I also was lucky enough to have the easiest baby around....she rarely cried, she was a champion breastfeeder, a great sleeper and just plain angelic. Then, another friend had her baby. Even though she was back to pre pregnancy clothes before she even left the hospital, she had a long, hard labor and her baby was so colicky we could hear him screaming throughout the apartment complex often. I started to think that maybe we're all tried in pregnancy and childbirth somehow. To some women, it might be a terrible trial to never lose all the pregnancy weight that was gained. To others, they may have difficult labors or have to deal with pre-term labor. To others their trial might be sciatica or other common pregnancy ailments that are, nonetheless, difficult to deal with. To yet others, the trials of childbearing may not rear their ugly heads until the baby is a teenager, but they will have some sort of sacrifice in having their children. I soon found myself thinking "I sure wouldn't want to be her...I'll take my angel baby and horrific pregnancy over the colic anyday!"
Did I just admit that I would rather suffer from hyperemesis than have a colicky baby? Yes. I think that all in all we all have our difficulties and I've stopped screaming "unfair" with my subsequent pregnancies, even though I often wish that I could just have a 36 hour labor instead....wouldn't 36 hours of pain be better than 9 months of nausea and vomiting? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe I should just be happy with what I have been given.
And I think life is just that way. We should never look at others and complain how unfair it is that they are such and such and we are not. We simply do not know what it is that they might be currently dealing with, have previously dealt with or will have to deal with at some point. We need to content ourselves with bearing the load we have been given. That's all. Life may not seem fair, but really, when it comes down to it, it is.