Shirking my duty | Overstuffed Overstuffed

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Shirking my duty

So, I'm enough sick that I felt like I can't even give Chloe the time and attention she needs. It is so hard to be feeling so awful and have just laid down only to have to get up to take her potty, or get her a drink of water, or help her open her toy, or whatever. Every time Joel was gone it was so hard for me to be a real mother. So, I sent her to Utah to be with grandparents for 2 weeks.

So now I feel like the worst mother ever. Not so much that I sent her away, but the fact that it's been such a relief to me not to have her here. Don't get me wrong, I miss her like crazy, but I am finally able to get the rest I need during the day. I am hoping that by the time she gets back I'll be feeling a bit more functional...after all, I will be out of my first trimester (not that that has meant a darn thing in my previous pregnancies, but a girl can hope).

I try to talk to her on the phone every day. I say "try" because she doesn't want to talk to me all that much. She's too busy being spoiled and having a blast with Daisy the dog and the new toys Mamah bought her. She's having the time of her life. For which I'm glad...it's just what she needed. She has been hard since I've been sick, and she isn't usually a hard kid to deal with. I know it's because she's been a little shaken up with the change in routine, and especially the fact that Mommy doesn't get out of bed or clean the house or make food or ANYTHING anymore. She knows I'm sick because there's a baby in my tummy, but I don't think she fully understands, and I know that she definitely doesn't like it. So being in Utah is perfect. She's getting much needed attention...attention I hope I'm able to give her when she comes home.

Only one more week....man I miss that kid!

3 comments :

  1. In the middle ofj j.the night in her sleep Chloe says "I Love You Mommy" and I (Mamah) heard it and went back to sleep with a smile on my face. So glad I woke up that time to hear it! Love you forever my darling daughter! Mom

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  2. Sometimes we gotta do things we don't want to, but it does make us feel better! I am glad that you have been able to get some sleep and rejuvinate yourself. Wish that me and the boys were able to play with Chloe!
    Glad that she has your parents and Joels to be with though! I bet she is loving her adventure.

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  3. Woo hoo... enjoy this time... heaven knows I wish I was you. :) And it's totally what she needs, now she won't resent the baby near as much.... :)

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