The parable of Bria's glasses | Overstuffed Overstuffed

Sunday, June 11, 2006

The parable of Bria's glasses

So, Bria had an eye appointment last week and it turns out she really needed glasses. Her eyes are almost as bad as Joel's already, and well...she has blind me for a mother. She wasn't so excited about the prospect of getting glasses until she saw the box of children's frames that she could choose from. She immediately picked up the frames that looked just like mine. (You know, the uber cool black rectangular ones.) We persuaded her to try on all of them, just in case she might like another pair better, but she ended up sticking with her first decision. When we couldn't go home with the glasses that day she was sad, and looked forward to finally getting them.

Well, we picked them up a couple days ago and she has been getting used to wearing them. I have to say she looks absolutely adorable, but older and smarter. Funny how glasses do that to a person. She's been fine about wearing them, even in public to the store, so I was a little surprised at her reaction this morning when I told her to put them on so we could go to church. She started bawling. Didn't want to wear them to church, and if she did, she didn't want to go to Primary, didn't want to sit in our regular pew in the chapel because her friends sit around us, and she didn't want anyone to see her. She was terrified that they would make fun of her...and besides Mommy doesn't ever wear her glasses to church, so why should she? (I usually wear my contacts.)

(I must mention here that I totally relate. I wasn't much older than her when I got my first pair of glasses. I'll never forget being a little late to school on the first day wearing them, most likely because I was causing a similar scene. I got there during the Pledge of Allegiance, and so I had to stand by the door until everyone was finished. As soon as the class sat down, a boy named Carson remarked about my glasses. Something not very nice. I was crushed. But then, another little boy named Kimo said, "I think she looks nice in them." and saved the day. It's hard to watch my little girl go through the same sort of feelings and not be able to promise her that nobody will ever make fun of her for having glasses.)

I made a deal with her that I would also wear my glasses to church today...and that helped a bit. I also had to promise her ice cream tomorrow, and then I just prayed that it would be okay and that the kids would be nice about it. She was pretty much an emotional WRECK on the way to church in the car, and when we got to the chapel and sat down, she immediately put her coloring book in front of her face and stayed that way for a good ten minutes. I think she finally realized nobody was really looking at her and decided to actually color in her book. I had her count all the people wearing glasses in the congregation and that seemed to help, too. Joel told the Bishop to compliment her, and I asked her Primary teachers to make a big deal over how cute she looks...and it all seemed to go well. At the end of the day she said that nobody made fun and everybody thought she looked adorable. (Whew!)

I was just thinking about her experience today, and the lesson I had in Sunday School about trusting the Lord. Bria wanted glasses just like mine. And I think it's safe to say that most of us want to become like our Heavenly Father one day--after all, that's what we are commanded to do. Also, the glasses are something that will help her. She can't see well without them and they are relatively simple to wear in order to correct poor vision. The Lord gives us commandments to help us become more like Him. Most of those commandments are pretty simple to keep. Like Bria, we are usually pretty okay with wearing our glasses/keeping the commandments when nobody is watching, but as soon as we think someone might judge us, it is a little bit harder. Suddenly, we see that not everyone wears glasses. A lot of people go around doing things that are against what we've been taught, and suddenly the commandments we've been given don't seem so simple anymore. It's good to have a support system...to look around and realize that a lot more people wear glasses than you'd previously noticed. Good to have good associates who are as committed to keeping the commandments as you are. And most of all...you have to trust the Lord. That what He is telling us to do is for our best good. Just like wearing glasses is the best thing to do when you don't see well and the optometrist says you need them.

Anyway, I don't know if I have that total trust in the Lord yet. Of course, I'm not perfect yet, but I am trying. And sometimes it's difficult. Just like it takes a lot of courage for a 5 year old to see her peers in her new eyewear, it can be very hard for me to be brave enough to do all I know I should when I live in the world that I do.

20 comments :

  1. gosh - i think you handled the situation beautifully - it is so hard being a kid - and to deal with teasing and standing up for things.

    i enjoyed your words on trusting in the Lord - even as an adult i find myself forgetting to do that and letting my fears get in the way.

    take care and have a good MOnday!

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  2. Job well done! Love this post!

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  3. a) Seriously, an amazing job with the glasses at church thing.
    b) Wow... quite a comparisson -- you're so spiritual)
    c) You are perfect -- how'd you forget? Remember -- we're so much ALIKE. :)

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  4. Lara, I think this is one of your best blogs written! I really do love it and it puts life in prospective so nicely.
    Sure do love and miss Bria and Chloe, hope all is well!!
    Love you guys, really do
    Shana

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  5. Seems as if you can find a life lesson in any situation. Bria is still beautiful in her glasses.

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  6. I remember being so upset when karrilyn had to get glasses. It was hard for me. This was such a great analogy about life and a great reminder. Thanks

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  7. Way to make that connection! I was just reading along, and never saw it coming. You are so right about trusting Heavenly Father which can be so hard. I tend to get caught up in the day to day stuff, and I have to take a step back and remind myself of what really matters.

    I got glasses when I was 5 and can totally relate. My first day with them was "nerd day" at school so my Mom let me wait to wear them :) Mine were huge and hideous and had rubber tubes that went around me ears. They pressed against my eyes, and my eyelashes got stuck all the time.

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  8. Great job, Lara! Lisa had hers when she was 6 and her real dad and I had to make sure that the Ophtalmologist we were referred to understood her unique situation of being labeled a nerd or four eyes. At the time, the notion made me livid, so thank goodness for great health insurance, Lisa got a custom frame that was similar to the contours of her eye shape and the most gorgeous metallic purple shade thin flexible frames she ever got. It worked out great; no one noticed that she was wearing the glasses, her friends and classmates were too busy looking at how unique and thin it looked. Whew!

    I believe that part of trusting in Heavenly Father is helping HIM thru righteous available means. And you and Joel did that for Bria.

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  9. Bria is just adorable!! I love her glasses by the way!! They are just so cute on her! I remember my first pair of glasses.. i was in 8th grade though. I was DEVESTATED!!! I was scared to death. Thanks for sharing this with me.. For all i know, i will have to do this with girls or Jonathan.. Take care

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  10. What a perfect analogy. This is just how it is. But once we get used to wearing them we stop caring about what people think. They become part of us, just the way keeping the commandments does, and we get to a point where we can't imagine trying to live without them, or even wishing we could. :)

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  11. Awesome! I'll have to remember that teaching moment too! I bet the same principle could be used with various other things as well!

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  12. Great analogy!
    I love blogging for that reason, too, that amongst all the newspapers and TV telling us and showing us so many bad things that happen on a daily basis, that there is this network of awesome women out there in the world, outside of my own little ward, who think and feel and believe the way I do! It's great to have this kind of Positive peer pressure!
    :~D

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  13. I am having such fun catching up on these past blog posts of yours. I really enjoyed this parable.

    The funny thing is that the opposite is true, too. You know how half the people who don't have glasses or braces want them? (You wouldn't believe how disappointed Fantasia is because the dentist told her she will probably never need braces. Ridiculous!) I think it's the same concept. Growing up, I never had LDS friends and I was embarassed that I stood out and was different. Yet, as I got older, I was surprised how many of my friends and acquaintances told me that they had wanted to be like me. Little old me. I couldn't believe it.

    What a great parable.

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  14. Again, another great post. It's funny that church set off the feelings for her, but I'm glad all went well too.

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  15. And she is the most adorable little girl in glasses.

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  16. I wish I looked as cute in glasses as she does :)

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  17. I'm always so impressed with people who can turn everyday events into meaningful life lessons. What a good reminder for all of us. And what a good mommy you are!

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  18. I wear glasses too and sometimes, it's a battle. I never thought about it in this way before though. Thanks for helping me open my eyes.

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  19. She does have really great glasses!

    I always love analogies.

    I keep erasing the rest of my comment because I just keep repeating what you've already said.

    You said it all :)

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