Yes. That is a picture of some very mangled scriptures. Unfortunately, they're not mine. They're Joel's. If you must know, I washed them in the washing machine. Yep. You read that right. The washing machine.
And I suppose you want to know how that happened. Well, I was pregnant (important to mention as that excuses us women from all kinds of crazy things) and sick as a dog. I was trying to sleep one day and the absolutely disgusting odor from my bedspread and sheets was keeping me from doing so. Sick as I was, washing my bedding became the most important thing in the entire world. So, I got up, and in between running to the bathroom, I managed to gather it all up and toss it in the washer. I did not notice that the scriptures were there. Until I was trying to switch it to the dryer and had trouble getting it out because of the strange mass of leather and paper blocking the way. The worst part of the entire story is that after all that, my quilt still stunk to my highly sensitive pregnant nose.
Joel laughed. I told him he was gonna kill me and he just laughed. The boy has had very bad luck with his scriptures: He's had them stolen, left them at hotels, and now washed. They were beyond hope. He got a new pair for whatever the next holiday was...I think Easter. Pretty expensive Easter present, but hey? Whatcha gonna do?
I tell you this story as a preface to what happened today. Joel was at his brother's helping to paint his basement. They used a sprayer. If you've ever used one, then you know what he looked like when he came home. As soon as he was in the shower I grabbed his nearly unidentifiable clothing and threw it in the washer. I checked his pockets and retrieved his wallet and car keys. I swear I didn't feel anything else there.
But if I'd been thinking, I would have thought about the fact that his cell phone is always in his pocket along with his wallet and keys. But I wasn't thinking. And yes, I washed his phone. He asked where I put it just after the first spin cycle, and then I thought real fast. I ran to the washer and rummaged through it as quickly as possible, as if it would help. I'm afraid that his phone is just as irreparable as his scriptures were. And I'm not even pregnant this time.
One more strike and I don't think Joel will let me do laundry anymore...
Wonder what I can wash next?