My Young Women lesson at church this last week was on journal keeping. The manual had said to get out all my journals to put on display, so I went into the garage and dug them out. I never really thought about how many journals I've written in my life! Wow!
I love to write, and have kept a pretty steady journal since I was about 8 years old. It's hilarious to go back and read those very first entries: "I woke up, I brushed my teeth and got ready for school, I made my bed..." Total play by play of my day, and if I still wrote that way I don't think a single one of you would be reading this blog! And, at that age, not much interesting happens. But I did love to read about how I played with my friends. I had forgotten a lot of the imaginative games we used to play.
Then I entered into Jr. High. And there are two words that can describe my journal entries during that time of my life. Boy and Crazy. Embarrasing would be another good word.
High school continued on in that vein, but these are the journals I have been reading here and there throughout this week because I can't believe the things I've forgotten! I also can't believe the stuff that is so obvious to the almost-33-year-old me that was completely lost on my 16-year-old self. And I was just as surprised by the things I actually understood really well back then. Things I didn't think I learned until much later.
Most of the things I'm talking about from high school had to do with the boyfriend I had my Junior year. He. was. horrible. It is so enlightening to go back and read how depressed I was during that period. Somewhere along the line one of my good friends lost her virginity and when she told me about it I freaked out. I immediately broke up with horrible boyfriend and made a vow that I would not be kissing any boys until I was ready to get married. I had no idea I made that vow. I mean, my journals knew, and frequently reminded me of it as I dated other guys during my Senior year and even when I was a Freshman in college. But I don't remember making it at all. I kept it though...no kissing until Sophomore year in college when I was dating a future lawyer whom I thought I would surely marry.
My college journal entries were few and far between. Probably because of the huge load of difficulty those years are. Having to be super responsible about school work, and working nearly full time (I was crazy) besides trying to balance a social life and all the aforementioned boy craziness.
I filled two entire journals on my mission alone. Then back to college journal writing. And then I met Joel. Our entire time dating is very well documented, for which I am very glad, but once we got married I wrote only when I felt the urge (like once a year!) or when our children were born. My very last entry, in fact, was a few months after Chloe was born and we were just going to move down to Arizona.
And then I started a blog....