And I don't mean a chef that cooks for you, although I don't have one of those either. Chef is a Romanian word (pronounced keff) that doesn't have a very good English equivilant. The best I can come up with is motivation. But it's kind of like desire or being in the mood or even interested in something.
Anyway, whatever it means, I don't have it. I can't seem to get into the Christmas spirit this year. I've gone through the motions, but they aren't helping me feel the joy and excitement that they usually do. My Christmas card is ready, although Joel has yet to write the annual letter. I started addressing envelopes, but got quickly bored with that. I did a bit of Christmas shopping, and while it was fun, I feel stressed about gift giving this year. Not necessarily financial stress...just plain stress. I only have half of my holiday decorations up, and no desire to put up the rest, which are currently sitting in a huge ugly pile on my kitchen table. Finally, the fact that this is my second blog post today AND that I've blogged every day this week (unheard of for me) attests that I do not have any chef for my normal chores. Way too much time on the computer.
So what's missing? Probably I'm focusing on all the wrong things. And I don't like how it makes me feel. Things are busy, yes, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't slow down and remember the reason for the season. That Christ was born onto this earth to save us. And not just from sin...He came to save us from just the sort of stress I've been feeling lately.
I did put my nativities up this morning. They are my favorite part of my Christmas decoration, but they can't be in the most prominent place this year because of a little girl named Sophia. She has shown remarkable restraint when it comes to the tree, but I'm just not willing to put my precious nativity sets in harm's way.
Anyway, I digress. I am off to bed, and hopefully a good sleep and the fact that I get to sleep in a little tomorrow (most of my Tuacahn students are in SLC for a state choir thing) will give me a little bit of chef.
And I think a little could go a long way.