I think my whole life this past few weeks has been one anxiety attack after another. It has now been almost two weeks since Joel interviewed with "the University," and we have heard nothing back. He's even sent a couple emails to some search committee members and they have not responded.
So, okay, we're pretty sure this means he didn't get the job. Fine. Just tell us already, so we can get on with our lives! The thing about not hearing anything, is you still have that small glimmer of hope left. Maybe they really haven't come to a decision yet, even though that seems ludicrous. Maybe the first person to whom they offered the job will decide to turn it down for one reason or another. Maybe, maybe, maybe.
I know, you can only control what you can control, and that thought is comforting to a point. Joel went out there, auditioned and interviewed, and did his best. He was very well prepared and now it is in the hands of the search committee. But knowing that doesn't make it any easier for me (us) to be sitting here in the dark not knowing what the heck is going on. It has been interesting though, because whenever I've been incredibly anxious and start freaking out a little (a lot) about what the future holds for our family, Joel seems to be really calm. Then I calm down, and he takes his turn panicking.
Anyway, if we don't find out something soon, I may just have to go find someone who reads palms or has a crystal ball or something. This has been a huge test of our faith, and continues to be so. I have reached my breaking point, though. I don't know how much longer I can walk by faith and not by sight.