Today I am grateful for my husband's sense of humor. He is basically one of the funniest people on the planet, and if you get our Christmas letters, you already know this. (It really is too bad that he holds such disdain for blogging.) He has the ability to make me laugh even when I am so angry with him that I am spitting fire. It's a pretty annoying thing to do, but I always forgive him for it. His sense of humor is the other reason I married him, besides his being a spiritual giant. Oh, and his curly hair.
So, I've been cleaning out my incredibly full e-mail inbox the last few weeks. So far, I've gone from 2,000 plus messages in there to only 200! It's a miracle, since this is something I rarely do. Anyway, while doing my e-mail housekeeping, I came upon this hilarious message (titled "Dumb List Thingy") from my dear husband. One of those lists was going around in his family, and so he decided to actually fill it out, even though he rarely (ahem, never) does these things and is mostly just annoyed to find them in his inbox. I guess getting 25 of them within a couple of days from a bunch of female family members got to him. Who knows? All I know is that it is so funny I decided to share it with you. And then you'll know what I mean about his sense of humor, even if you don't get our Christmas letters.
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Joel came from the book in the Bible. Neves is "Neeves" spelled backwards in Portuguese.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? After my last orchestra concert.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? A mix between chicken scratch, Hieroglyphics, and two-year old writing. Virtually indecipherable.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Hot pastrami meat stuff surprise sandwich meat
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Yes, three girls: BRICHLOPHIA.
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Of course not, not.
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Rarely, unless I need to prove a point to my wife.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Correct.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? The feeling that I'm just about to die is unpleasant and thus unfavorably disliked in my mind.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Cap'n Crunch. (translation: Captain Crunch)
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES or JUST TAKE THEM OFF? Always untie them and put them away nicely in the closet, ALWAYS.
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Yes, when everything is going perfectly my way. But if I were female and had to endure periods, pregnancies, and low salaries, I'd go batty.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Ben & Jerry's "Touch Me, In a Crunch" series - currently discontinued.
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? I have no clue - never thought about it.
15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR RED OR PINK? Blue - stupid, communistic question!
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? My perfectionism. If I make a mistake, I freak out. I need to ecxept imperfextion betterer.
17. WHAT DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Having a cool telescope. Playing sports every week. Eating Mississippi Mud Pie.
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Couldn't care less.
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Who cares? (O.K. fine, leopard print shirt, hot pink sandals, and form-fitting alligator skin pants.)
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Scrumptious luau food that I made.
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? "Seize the Day" because Lara's been annoyingly singing it for 15 minutes.
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Blue.
23. FAVORITE SMELLS? Lilacs. Curry chicken. Freshly cut grass. BBQ meat.
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? My father.
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? By all means, of course I do.
27. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? College football and NBA.
28. HAIR COLOR? Poo brown.
29. EYE COLOR? Poo blue.
30. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Never have, never will.
31. FAVORITE FOOD? My dad's stuffed cabbage. Ummm.
32. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Dumb question. But I only like movies where the ending MAKES SENSE. If it sends me home wondering, "What the HECK was that?" then I get mad. Like the ending of the last Lord of the Rings movie.
33. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Sahara - awesome movie.
34. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Poo blue.
35. SUMMER OR WINTER? Neither. Spring and Fall.
36. HUGS OR KISSES? Kisses.
37. FAVORITE DESSERT? Mississippi Mud Pie
38. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? ??
39. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? ??
40. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? I never actually read books. The only "reading" I do is 1) music scores, 2) music textbooks, and 3) the Book of Mormon.
41.WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Dumb question.
42. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?
43. FAVORITE SOUNDS? Beautiful intonation, perfect balance, gargantuan brass, sustained strings, expressive phrasing.
44. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles.
45. WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Israel.
46. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I mean, like, where do I start? Chick magnet, sweet conductor, etc. etc. etc. etc.
47. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Hayward, California, behind a barn, delivered by a midwife named Whanna.
48. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? Who cares?
49. DO YOU HAVE ANY GRANDCHILDREN? In the spirit world, waiting for their future grandfather to make wise, righteous decisions, so that they can be born and say, "What a heck of a grandpa I had - he was sure swell"
50. WHERE DO YOU LIVE? Cedar City, Utah, America, Earth, Solar System, Universe, Kolob.