Opposites attract: It's a good thing. | Overstuffed Overstuffed

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Opposites attract: It's a good thing.

I'm afraid my post last night perhaps shed Joel in a negative light that I did not intend at all. It was mostly tongue in cheek, even though he really does everything I said he did. He mostly quizzes me to bug me and I mostly just get a kick out of it--he is obviously in the right profession--and I really do appreciate the way he balances me out.

Joel is organized and perfectionistic where I am disorganized and laid back. Where he is detail oriented I am blissfully unaware. He manages to stay calm when I am overwhelmed to the point of freaking out. Whenever something is lost, which is the thing that freaks me out the most, he always calmly says, "Oh, it's somewhere. We'll find it." (Which actually annoys me to no end, but I do appreciate his ability to not join in on my panic attack.) Joel knows how much he can handle and isn't afraid to say no. I seem to think I can do everything asked of me in less than an hour and wouldn't think of saying that I couldn't do something. Joel is very goal-oriented, where I am usually just trying to make it through the next ten minutes.

Not that he doesn't have his faults. He does. The cool thing is, that I usually balance him out, too. I am practical and logical where he, well, isn't. Where he is too rigid, I am relaxed. While he cries over spilled milk, I laugh at it.

Today was one of those days when I really needed his balance so that I didn't need to be committed to the insane asylum. You know the kind of days where Murphy's Law takes effect and doesn't seem to let up much? That was today.

Just two of the many things that had me in full freak-out mode:

Even though I was at the bank the second it opened to deposit the checks that were needed to cover the student loan payment, it had already come out before I got to the front of the line. And we had four overdraft charges, because they took the student loan payment out first. I was freaking out (of course), because we can't afford four overdraft charges and besides, we had the money to cover everything, we just couldn't deposit it on a federal holiday.

If I had been the one to call the bank, I would have started out all anxious and upset and ended up yelling at the person. Instead, after Joel came home from work, I asked him to call the bank because he doesn't get frustrated and raise his voice in these situations. He reasonably explained to the person on the other line what had happened and he was able to get all the money put back into our account and I could stop hyperventilating.

Or so I thought.

On the way to Bria's violin lesson, I noticed that a truck was following me. It seemed odd, but I figured he was just so happening to go exactly the same way I was--right to the violin teacher's neighborhood. But then, as I was ushering Bria out of the van, a teenage boy knocked on my window, and I noticed it was the same truck that had been following me. At first I was a little nervous, but I still rolled down my window, and he told me that I had a flat tire. (What a nice young man!)

Indeed I did have a flat tire. And it was getting flatter by the second. I was sent into freak out mode again and I called Joel to find out what I should do. (I can't think straight in these situations. Let's hope we never have a house fire.) He calmly told me to just drive to the closest gas station and fill it up with air, and try to figure out what was causing the leak. You'd think that I was the illogical one in this situation, but I don't deal well with car issues, mostly because that usually means lots of money coming out of our bank account. Besides, I've always had a dad and a bunch of brothers to deal with that stuff. And now I have a husband.

I've never actually filled a tire with air before, but I managed just fine. And then I found that there was a nail in the tire. Joel told me to just drive home and he'd pick up Bria from violin and take it to get fixed. Seriously, if he had been unavailable, I would have been calling my mom who lives hours away to come save me, because if it came down to having to actually change the tire I might have fainted. (Okay, so I probably would have figured something out eventually, but I'm glad I didn't have to.)

So, there you have it. Even though Joel sometimes drives me nuts while I am practicing, he is one of the best things in my life. Strike that. The best thing in my life. And it really is fun to do concerts together, not many couples can share something like that and I love it.

But mostly I just love him.

(How's that for a late Valentine's Day tribute?)

28 comments :

  1. You and your husband sound a lot like me and mine. I tend to stress a lot and overreact. Derek doesn't. But I'm also the person who doesn't overreact if there's someone else overreacting. Weird huh?!

    The one big thought that I had when I read your last post was how lucky you are that you and your husband have something in common that you can talk about. Even if it drives you nuts! A lot of people don't have that. I saw it as a positive.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I didn't think your last blog was negative, it was halarious as I could see you both going through this exercise of singing/conducting!! Joel is exceptional and so are you, what a great combination!

    ReplyDelete
  3. That's really sweet. I think we find our opposites as spouses so that we round each other out. Ryan and I are the same way. We freak over different things and keep each other sane.

    ReplyDelete
  4. It sounds to me like you two are perfectly matched. I love that my hubby and I can do this, too. When I freak out, he always tells me to calm down, and helps me do that. Same for him with me. Sorry you had a rough day. Hope tomorrow is better!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I didn't think your last post was negative or there was anything wrong with it.

    Hey, at least you didn't Photoshop your husband's face on 6 kilt pictures!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I didn't see the last post as painting Joel in a negative light at all. Loved your story about the flat tire though. It reminded me of a day a couple years ago when I came out of school to find one of the (new) tires on my car flat. I freaked out and called Brice about it and he said he'd load up the kids and come out to the school. Well he was taking so long that I ended starting to just change the tire myself and was almost done before he got there. He took the car to the place that put the tires on for us a month earlier and they patched it for free.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I agree with Queen Deni that you have to know Joel that he really doesn't have an arrogant bone in his body. I can picture the musical banter now. All in good fun.

    I too hate car issues. I'm such a girl on that end.

    ReplyDelete
  8. No need to explain. I totally understand. Because, really, even though some things about my Love drive me nuts, I love those things about him, too. One thing that is VERY evident in your blog is how much you love your husband and children. You are a VERY good example to ALL of us.

    ReplyDelete
  9. PS: And as you know, too, I have MANY a melt down about money and budgets! (wink)

    And.

    A flat? I'd would be USELESS!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh, I love it. You guys sound great together. And I thought the last post was awesome. I love Greg knowing stuff that I don't so I can ask him about it. And I would also love to be annoyed if he wouldn't give me a straight answer. I think that's awesome. And also a little annoying, too. But mostly awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I never once thought bad things about him. It is amazing how our husbands do that for us. I had the same thing happen with a flat tire, a boy stopped me and I was worried but then I thought how nice of him and I kind of freaked out too and Mike just did the same thing that Joel did. I am sorry that you had such a crazy day yesterday.

    ReplyDelete
  12. You seem a little co-dependent on this blog entry.
    My roommate and I changed a tire our Sophmore year, we felt like she-ra.
    Guess who's going to W today...

    ReplyDelete
  13. I would have freaked out if I had a flat tire too. I'm high anxiety like that.

    My husband and I are definitely opposites too. I loved your description of how you balance each other out!

    ReplyDelete
  14. My hubby does balance our life out. It is so funny how things turn out that way.

    I too had a flat yesterday. I freak out about those kind of things. I am so greatful for a man who takes those situations over. I just can't see myself lying in the street putting on a spare.

    ReplyDelete
  15. So very true Lara. I loved hearing more about your husband. I love opposites. It is a balance there. We all need balance too.

    Flat tires are worse than flat hair. Well maybe. No fun though.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Lara - I'm honestly trying not to make fun of you because I freaked out last night over something with the computer and logically, I knew that freaking out wasn't going to solve a thing. But I have to make fun of this.....you've never put air in a tire? Really? hahahahaha!

    Okay, that part is over.

    Also, if Joel is unavailable, before you call your mom to come to all the way from hours-away-ville to save you from a car issue (Lara's mom - don't do it! lol) remember, Joel is in the bishopric. You have phone numbers of all kinds of men that can come save you. You're in Utah. A dude will come save you.

    Don't hate me - I have to make fun of this a little bit, because I have a practical/creative way of solving problems WHILE freaking out. So while I'm not the same as you, I can relate to your plight AND make fun of you at the same time.

    ReplyDelete
  17. i actually enjoyed both posts. it's all about keepin it real!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Well done! You can never go wrong when you shine that spotlight on a loved one! Thanks for sharing that about you and Joel. I personally know that you wouldn't have made him look bad, you two look too cute together for that to happen. LOL

    Hugs,
    Carolyn

    Plus, back in AZ, he is such one of the good guys.

    ReplyDelete
  19. My husband is calm and more laid back about everything that doesn't concern him and his schedule. He is a good advice giver and great at keeping me calm, but he can't quite get there for himself. Interesting. Great post, thanks. And don't worry... we know you are crazy for him!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Very nice tribute. (Although somewhat unnecessary--I think most of us knew you weren't all that upset in that last post.) Balance in a relationship is a very good thing!

    ReplyDelete
  21. good thoughts for sure---that's a good marriage when you can balance each other out!!! Me and my husband are practically Opposite in everything...but when It comes to the important things, we are on the same page (for the most part) and p.s. I CAN'T CHANGE A TIRE EITHER....I would have screamed,cried and yes fainted.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Three letters for you

    AAA.

    When the husband's not around, AAA always is. And it doesn't matter if I have been taught over and over again how to change the stinkin' tire and if it takes AAA just as long to find me as it would to change the tire, it still beats changing the tire alone with two children in tow.

    And I wish I wcoul only raise my voice when ealing with issues over the phone. For some reason I always end up in tears. I hate it!!!

    ReplyDelete
  23. How great that he can jump in and be your knight on the white horse! My husband always makes me be the one to talk to people because he says I can talk them into anything. Mostly, they just give in to me to get me to shut up!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Husbands are awesome :-) Great post.

    ReplyDelete
  25. That is so funny about the tire... I freak out over flat tires too (mostly because I DON'T have a husband to fix them.) and I WON'T even attempt to do it myself. Thank goodness my dad is back now... he's the man!

    ReplyDelete
  26. I would FREAK out if there was anything wrong with the car and I was driving it. I feel completely incapable of doing anything -- I mean, it's a big day if I put gas in my car. So YEAY for you for filling it with air.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Oh, Lara, I am laughing, laughing, laughing....because MY husband is my stabilizer, too!! This so closely mirrors our relationship, it's hilariously fun to read....

    ReplyDelete
  28. Lara - I LOVED both of these posts about Joel. The Maestro as Taskmaster made me laugh out loud several times, and it was just sweet to hear about the intricacies of your relationship. And, as much as some of those idiosyncrasies may drive you batty, it IS amazing that you get to share music with your spouse in that way. Thanks for being so real - you're amazing!

    ReplyDelete