Driving Me Crazy <br> by DeNae | Overstuffed Overstuffed

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Driving Me Crazy
by DeNae

With this being the month o’ moving for Lara and her family, I have been invited to write something about my own experiences with relocating from one loony chunk of geography to another. My husband is a federal agent, and we’ve seen our share of moving vans, seedy hotels, and drunken packers who steal your power washer as you’re heading to the tropics – where the mold is so aggressive and organized it has congressional representation and its own zip code – but thoughtfully pack your snow shovel for the same move.

Yet no move quite compares with our last, and I thought perhaps I would share with you my own personal experience of trauma and growth which took place on September 11, 2001. It's a story of hardship and triumph, a testament to sheer endurance and one woman's determination to overcome against insurmountable odds, a memorial to the unbreakable American spirit which enables all of us to nobly press forward and spit in the face of tragedy and heartbreak, giving the metaphorical finger to enemies of freedom everywhere.

Read DeNae's story here: Driving Me Crazy.

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DeNae is a Music teacher, composer, arranger and director of the Las Vegas Mormon Youth Symphony and Chorus. She is also a free-lance writer with one published book, "The Accidental Gringo".

She says that her writing style is "essayist", which means she, like Norman Mailor and Moses, is incapable of uploading digital pictures to her blog.

DeNae blogs (essays?) at My Real Life Was Backordered, but I'm pretty sure she could take over for Mary Roach at Reader's Digest if she really wanted to. In fact, once I found DeNae's blog, I promptly got rid of my subscription, since the humor column is all I really care about anyway.

Unfortunately, DeNae is the only one of my guest posters that I have not actually met in real life--but that's not for lack of trying. It seems that if I am in Vegas, that's when she decides to come to Utah, so essentially we're like two ships passing in the night. Sad, really. I even thought about crashing her nephew's wedding here in Cedar City, but that didn't work out, either.


Someday, DeNae. Someday.

17 comments :

  1. Holy hannah, I needed a good laugh today. You are brilliant.

    Oh, and sorry 9-11 was so bad for you. Your recounting brought tears of laughter for at least one person. So that makes up for it a tiny bit, right? Or not.

    I'm forwarding this to my sister. She'll laugh her spleen out.

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  2. That's because 42 is the answer for everything.

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  3. HooooooHAAAaaaaa. . . . breathing again now! Almost.
    I'm officially spleen-less.

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  4. I love Denae. And she is just as funny in person.

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  5. What Azucar said. Is true. At least, that's what Douglas Adams and the screen saver my brother put on my husband's computer say.

    You are soooooooo stinkin' funny.

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  6. Ummm... they just asked me when my baby was born what her married name would be... don't they do that to everyone. ;)
    PSYCHOS....
    They obviously have an STD from a whore house what went to their brain.

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  7. I want to be DeNae when I grow up.

    She's even funnier in person. (jealous?)

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  8. I remember this story. I loved it then, and loved it now.

    A husband as a federal agent just sounds really cool. Does he get to wear sunglasses and little ear pieces all the time? Could he break my arm with his pinky? Wait. That's secret service, isn't it? So what does he do? Can you tell me, or would you have to kill me afterward?

    I think I've watched too many movies.

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  9. Are you always this funny? Seriously?! I haven't laughed this hard since Kristina P.'s post about Super Dell. You're awesome!

    Thanks for guest-posting her, Lara. Hope the move is going well!

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  10. Holy BLTs that was the story to end all stories. I'm so sorry for the colossally-huge disaster of a day you had, but now aren't you glad you got such a great story out of it?

    And by the way, you're derned if you do, derned if you don't. I bucked tradition and KEPT my name, and in order for them to hand me a WA driver's license, I had to show them my marriage license. Because you know, this utility bill in HIS name counted as valid proof-of-address, but that other utility bill in MY name didn't. So I guess that if his name is at that address, and I am married to him according to this document, then the piece of paper I'm holding must not, in fact, be lying, and therefore e=mc squared, and I'm a valid resident. Good gravy.

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  11. What a horrible/great story. Apparently in Las Vegas you are guilty until proven innocent, while in St. George you are innocent period.

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  12. I live in Vegas, but I'm not old enough to have a driver's license.
    That post was Freaking (excuse my french) FUNNYFUNNYFUNNYFUNNYUNNY!!!!!!

    :)

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  13. Although I'm just dying reading about your 9-11, I was also laughing. You are hi-larious!

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  14. Hilarious! I was just having breakfast with Charrette today and she told me to look you up. Must be fate. Thanks so much.

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  15. What a great post about life's grrrr moments...

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  16. You are a scream! LOL
    But Thank God it's your husband who is licensed to carry a gun.
    Just sayin'.....

    LOL

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