A Snake Deserves No Pity | Overstuffed Overstuffed

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

A Snake Deserves No Pity

My friend Kim recently blogged about her son's pet snake being lost somewhere in the house , and it reminded me of my own experience with a reptilian escapee.  I haven't thought of it in years, so I figured I'd write about it here.  You know, for posterity's sake.


As a sophomore in college I had a boyfriend named Jeff.  That's not particularly pertinent to this story except that I was with him when it happened and it was his friend's snake that was involved.  We had gone over to this friend's (I want to say his name was Mike, so that's what we'll call him) apartment to eat dinner and watch Lawrence of Arabia.

Jeff and I were sitting on the couch watching the movie when I felt something cold go down my arm.  At first I thought maybe Jeff had put his hand down my shirt (what the heck!), but I quickly realized that wasn't the case at all.

It was a snake.

A very large snake.

And he was cuddling up to me with all his snakelike might.  I was, understandably, freaking out, but also trying to act cool in front of everyone as if having a boa constrictor or python or whatever the heck kind of snake it was down one's shirt was as normal as blueberry pie.  I don't really think I fooled anyone, but I definitely tried.

In case you missed it, this snake was making its home under my shirt.  Next to my skin.  It was becoming increasingly obvious that the shirt was going to have to come off, or at the very least be unbuttoned, in order to get Mr. Snake out.  And I was in the presence of boys.

The boy I think was named Mike tried his darnedest to coax his pet snake out, but to no avail.  So, I unbuttoned as discreetly as possible, and he laboriously extracted the animal from around my arm and waist.

Once he was put safely back in his cage, we all resumed watching Peter O'Toole in the desert and pretended nothing had ever happened.  Especially me.

Which may account for the reason I haven't thought of this in over 15 years.

28 comments :

  1. Ok. I have goose bumps. Yuck! How did you act cool. I would have literally lost it, ripped my shirt off, screamed/shrieked and so forth!

    p.s. my boys are aware of our no reptile policy. except turtles. i hate snakes.

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  2. Ummm, no. Snakes and I are not friends.

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  3. Yeah, I'd like to think I could play it cool, but probably not. Snakes aren't my favorite animals.

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  4. I would have FREAKED THE HECK OUT!!! A snake? Down my shirt?! Oh, I don't care who's first row to that show, that shirt's off and the snake is a goner!!

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  5. Funny how we block out those traumatic experiences. Too bad you were reminded of it!

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  6. I am so totally shuddering as I read over this story...unlike you I would have been screaming, "bloody murder", lol!

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  7. Not to be vulgar, but isn't that considered third base??? Silly snake! I have a neighbor whose sons raise snakes and she actually likes to carry them around nestled in her bosom when they are smaller. And what's funny is that she isn't a weird lady - I promise!

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  8. I would have been standing there in all of my shirtless glory screaming my rearend off! Boys or no boys! That would give me the creeps!

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  9. Just the fact that you tried to keep your cool is pretty impressive. I got a spider in my hair and I freaked, screamed, ran upstairs and stripped down to bra and panties (yes, the spider was in my hair). I don't know what I would have done if it had been a snake.

    Great post!

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  10. Ew! Scary!

    Did Mike have the decency to call you after he had his hand in your shirt? :)

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  11. OH MY GOODNESS! This is one of those too-crazy-to-be-true stories! CRAZY!

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  12. Holy Crap! I would have freaked out! I don not like snakes. Or any other slithery reptile thing. Yuck.

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  13. That is a fabulous story!! I'm glad that you remembered it and shared it here. I don't mind snakes but I would have been screaming if that had happened to me!

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  14. {shudders}

    That's the worst thing I've heard all day. I would have suppressed that memory, too.

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  15. Oh yuck! I'm shuddering just thinking about it. And I too, and impressed that you kept your cool, because I probably would have been shrieking like a siren!

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  16. Eeew! And you didn't freak out?!? I mean there were boys there, and you had to unbotton your shirt, and you stayed calmish? That is amazing! And I would repress a memory like that as well. Yikes. I shudder just thinking about it right now.

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  17. THAT story is HILARIOUS, I'm so glad you shared it. ;)

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  18. Just wow. OK, and also yuck.

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  19. Funny. I don't mind snakes, but that event would have been a wee bit unnerving. Good for you for keeping your cool!

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  20. I won't be able to watch Lawrence of Arabia without feeling constricted. Ugh

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  21. Eww eww ewww! I would have screamed and probably cried. Snakes gross me out!

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  22. I second what Kazzy wrote.

    Yikes, my skin crawled just reading this!

    I hate snakes. They're as bad a roaches.

    Good reason for stuffing that memory away for 15 years! Yeow!

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  23. Well I for one am terribly disappointed. I figured with a title like, "Snakes Deserve no Mercy" or what it was you called this (I can't see it) I was expecting an ending involving a meat cleaver or at least a giant shop-vac.

    And considering the partial nudity involved I would hope the snake offered you an apple. Thrones and dominions? No? See, you ALL underperformed!!

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  24. Hi-larious! I actually love snakes (not enough to ever have one as a pet, mind you), so I got a big kick out of this story. Plus, a little nudity? Can't beat it!

    You're such a good sport! I hope those boys appreciated you...

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  25. Sounds like an elaborate plot on the guys' part to get some action...

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  26. Wow! I don't have a phobia to snakes, but that would definitely creep me out - especially a big snake like that!

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  27. That's crazy!
    I can't wait to see where our snake turns up (not found yet). The closest I had to anything reptile-ish down my shirt was actually an insect. The day after I saw Arachnaphobia, my mom played a trick on me and put a spider down the front of my shirt.

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