Today I Feel Guilty...But I Am Awake | Overstuffed Overstuffed

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Today I Feel Guilty...But I Am Awake

Joel got up this morning to go clean the church with his Young Men.  I probably should have gone, too, and brought my Young Woman with me.

But I didn't.

Instead, I slept until nearly 11:00, and then got up with the laptop and read blogs for an hour or so and now I'm still sitting here in bed, typing.

I listened to Bria and Chloe practice from bed.  I gave out chore orders from bed.  I let Sophia come and draw pictures next to me in bed.  Bria and Chloe came in when they were done with their jobs and chattered about the birthday party they attended and what's going on at school.

It was actually kind of nice.

It was very refreshing to sleep that long, and I definitely needed it.  I have had three nights this week where I didn't sleep at all.  Complete insomnia overtook those nights and I lay awake watching the hours tick by on my clock, willing myself just to sleep for four hours...three hours...one hour, and then pleading for just a half-hour of decent sleep before I had to get up and face the day.

The sleep never came.

On Thursday night, Joel drove to the store at 12:30 am to buy me a "sleep aid."  And I finally slept.  And I slept last night, too.  And it felt good.

But I feel guilty.

I should have been up and going, helping my children with their chores and practice.  I should have been exercising, not lazing around with the computer.  I should have been practicing myself.  Doing something good.  I should have cleaned the church.  Or at least the kitchen.

I'm trying to remember that if I hadn't slept in, I would not have been a very nice person.  My children probably appreciate that I took the time to rest so that I wouldn't be a "meanie" today.  So I'm trying not to feel guilty for taking care of myself first.

27 comments :

  1. I think that you getting sleep is a huge benefit for your kids!

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  2. I am 100% with Kristina. And I imagine your kids enjoyed it, too. Think about their lives: They spend 5 days a week being told where to go, what to do, when to do it, stand in line, turn in your homework, play that right, no, that was wrong, you can't say this, you have to say that -- great scott, adults would go completely ape-poo if they had to live that way.

    So a Saturday morning where everyone was just relaxing for a while, no one was handing out orders, no demands, no SHOULDS -- that must have been a much-needed breather for your girls.

    Enjoy it; these opportunities are rare.

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  3. I think it's sad that we moms feel guilt for not being in full work mode 24/7. Everyone needs a good sleep in now and again. Now push away the guilt and enjoy your lazy Saturday with your kids. Remember - lazy is not a dirty word. :)

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  4. Our bodies have a way of stepping up and just taking what they need, if they can't get it from us. So you needed that sleep, and your body knows what it's doing. And now that you've had enough sleep, you'll be able to function and be there for your family. I'm glad you slept in!

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  5. Hey sometimes we need to take care of ourselves first and do something for ourselves that maybe we haven't done in a long time. I think its great that you stayed in bed and slept and relaxed with your computer. Nothing wrong with that at all. So don't feel too guilty! You deserve it!

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  6. I was remembering Marjorie Pay Hinkleys talk about letting her son just "be" and how he came and thanked her for it later in his life. We do make ourselves feel guilty for silly reasons, and you shouldn't feel that way at all. You needed to sleep, and they needed down time as well. Enjoy the rest of this wonderful relaxed day or else it is in vain.

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  7. Hey you did this one time in what...a year,two or three-or ever!?
    I know some women who lay around all morning and basically do what you did today everyday just from the couch. So, when I do it once every 3 months, I just realize, I needed a break and my kids, the kitchen, the family and the church will be just FINE. Glad you enjoyed it.

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  8. I've been running on fumes all week and it's not ggos. I finally slept last night and feel no guilt. We moms need a recharge every so often!

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  9. Ugh I meant not GOOD. Obviously I need another nap. :)

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  10. I saw a cute little crafty thing yesterday that said, "Do one thing everyday that makes you happy." It was cute and I loved the saying and nearly bought it, but it was $50. Which would not have made Superman happy.

    But I've been thinking about it, and I think it IS important to do at least one thing every day that makes you really happy. Sounds like you needed some rest.

    Glad you're happy.

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  11. I think it's a mommy's lot to feel guilty for any time taken for the self. I hereby absolve you. Enjoy your morning, your rest, and know that someone out there thinks you're awesome.

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  12. My husband and I often tell each other, we'll sleep when we're dead. :)

    Sleep is a huge blessing, especially after those insomniatic nights.

    I would chalk it up to a cozy sleep-in day. No guilt, girl, no guilt.

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  13. Insomnia is so frustrating! I'm glad you were able to catch up a bit.

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  14. Sometimes taking care of them means taking care of yourself first! It's okay to sleep in every now and then. Besides, moms NEVER get the day off, so why not the morning?

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  15. Everyone deserves a day. Heck I take time out way too much during my day to look at blogs, nap and do something I want to do. But I mean come on....how can you function when you haven't slept. Think of how much better you'll be even for the week because you did that. Trust me s'ok!

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  16. Every time the mama is well-rested everyone benefits. And I am with you. I need to just crash sometimes.

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  17. Moms need sleep too! We are are not superheros! We have have to sleep in and take long baths and simply take time to take care of us. I am impressed that the girls did chores.......I have to hover over my boys or else they would not do anything!

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  18. I am so proud of you! Glad you took the time you needed to refresh and energize your spirit.

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  19. Rested mommy = good mommy!!!

    No guilt!

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  20. You are a wise mom to know when you need to take some time to recover, no matter what you are recovering from. It doesn't matter. They deserve you to be the best mommy you can, and if a few hours sleep is what helps, then I say do it! Good for you!

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  21. What's up with not sleeping? That's weird. Do you think you are working out too late?

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  22. Oh that's just Mama guilt. Sounds like everything got done alright, so good for you for having a lovely long lie in!!!

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  23. That's exactly me today only from fatigue... I have two sleep schedules- one when Charlie's home and one for the kids' schedule. From time to time, as before, my insomnia catches up and now lately has added the extra discomfort of fatigue where my legs feel like jelly and I get dizzy standing up. Computer was the only thing that kept me awake today to make sure that things got done while Charlie slept.

    Glad the medicine worked, none did the trick for me except Excedrin PM, but it forces me to take 8 hrs and it's too long for me and I end up awake with migraines.

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  24. OH, don't feel guilty Lara! Sleep equals the sliding scale of how good a Mother I am that day. Insomnia is setting in for me lately too. 1/2 a unisom tonight for me.

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  25. We ALL need a down day every once in a while to recharge and take care of ourselves, nothing to feel guilty about!

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  26. I think it's OK to sleep in and spend the day in bed every once in awhile. It's a mental health day. I'm sure if I didn't have a baby I'd do it more than I should!!

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  27. I think we actually NEED intermittent lazy days! There has to be a time to recharge, a time when nothing is expected of us, a time when we can sleep as much as we really need to.

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