Sometimes You Just Need Your Mommy <br> (Even if she's 2,000 miles away) | Overstuffed Overstuffed

Friday, February 12, 2010

Sometimes You Just Need Your Mommy
(Even if she's 2,000 miles away)

Because it's all too much for me right now.

I've been having a really, really hard time striking balance in my life this last month.  I have definitely been trying to run faster than I am able, and I am feeling it.  My house is messier than it's been in a long time, because cleaning hasn't been too high on the priority list.  My Google reader is now bursting at the seams with 1,000+ unread blogs, which I'm pretty sure I'll never get to (sorry everyone).  I have been teaching my vocal lessons with so little preparation it's almost scandalous.  I feel guilty about doing anything with friends, my calling is suffering, and I even told Joel we couldn't go out on a Valentine's Day date because it was just too stressful for me this weekend.

Okay, so perhaps I'm being a teensy bit overdramatic here.  I do clean my house (just not very well), and I usually read at least a couple blogs every day, but I haven't been commenting much.  Even if I don't sit down and actually write out lesson plans, I do think about my students a great deal and how to help them best.  I have turned down only a few friend outings, I only have one Young Woman, she'll forgive me, and well...Valentine's Day can be just as easily celebrated at home as it can in some restaurant somewhere, right?  Besides, I made my kids' valentines this year, and they rocked, so that's got to count for something.

But I'm still a stress case, and only two things are on my main priority list right now.

  • Getting ready for Saturday's performance vocally.
  • Getting ready for Saturday's performance physically.
I am spending upwards of 3 hours a day practicing these days.  I've been driving my kids to their various activities with an earphone in my ear, singing along to recordings, just so I can get the practice times in.  I practice in the shower, while doing dishes, and at the piano.  Multi-tasking at its finest.  Did I mention Joel assigned me a 20 page Italian aria to learn, along with two others in French?  I've done the French ones before, so it's mostly just dusting off, but this other aria is a beast.  It takes 15 minutes to sing from beginning to end. The other two are 15 minutes together.  So three hours of practice doesn't even seem like all that much, really.  

As far as the physical part....remember this dress?

Well, I've gained some weight since I wore it last February.  But, I really want to wear it on Saturday.  I've not touched a goodie for a month and a half, and it isn't making a whole lot of difference in my shape.  I've exercised fairly regularly.  The weight is just not coming off.  (Stupid PCOS.)

I finally dared to try on the dress a couple of days ago.  I was thrilled that I could (barely) zip it up, but upon walking around the house in it, I found I couldn't breathe.  In fact, if I had worn it much longer, I would have passed out right there in the living room.

In case you didn't know, breathing is a pretty essential factor in singing.  Perhaps if it were just a fashion show I could get away with it.  But, I'm pretty sure I would faint dead away if I wore it at this point to sing opera arias.


So, I'm on a crash diet.  And I'm doing as much exercise in a day as possible. A la Jillian Michaels and her 30 Day Shred. Plus my exercise bike. Really, all I need is to lose an inch or two off my waist.  That can totally be done in a week's time.  Right?

Anyway, these two things are stressing me out.  I asked Joel for a blessing a couple of weeks ago because I was at the very end of my proverbial rope, and I wasn't sure how I could handle my life without being committed to the psych ward.

I love Priesthood Blessings.  I felt so much peace after this blessing, and was promised many things.  I was also given a lot of advice.  One of those tidbits was to not feel bad about asking my family for help.  I tend to be such an I-Can-Do-It-All-And-I-Don't-Need-Your-Help-Even-Though-I-Really-Do-And-I-Just-Prefer-To-Suffer-In-Silence kind of person, that asking for help rarely occurs to me.  Even of my husband and children.

So, I've given them more chores these last few weeks. Although, Joel was out of town all last week and this week he's trying to play catch up, so that was a big bust.  But I did call my mom and mention that blessing to her, and she gently reminded me that she is family, too.  So, I hesitantly asked if she'd be willing to come out and help me during concert week.

And a few hours later I got an e-mail with her flight itinerary and the message, "Because I love you!" with it.

She gets here on Wednesday.  And I can't wait.

Not only will she help me clean my house and keep my kids happy, but there is nobody better when it comes to motivating for eating right and exercising.

Maybe I'll even lose THREE inches off my waist.

I can only hope.


  1. Good luck! I have a dress that I use to measure where I am. Yeah, we're not going to talk about that right now.

  2. WOW that's crazy! But I'm so glad your mama's gonna be able to come. What a good mom. And good luck with the inches!!

  3. I'm crying a little, even sans hormones. Well, I guess I'm nursing, so I still have *some* hormones. :)

    I think the reason this post touches me so is because I know how you feel. Dumb Overwhelm. He's a jerk. And if you add Stress, Frustration and Worry (all surly characters), it's just too much to handle.

    I'm thinking of you and I wish I could be there to hear you perform, because I know you'll sing beautifully.

    Also, I love your mom for lightening your load. Hugs.

  4. Oh! That brought tears to my eyes. No wonder you are a wonderful mommy - what an example she is to you! Plus, your own personal trainer - BO-NUS!
    You'll do great.

  5. Your testimony shines right through all the frustration you're feeling. As I read this post, I felt your strength. Hang in there. And give your Mom a great big hug for being there for you. Moms are the best!

  6. Don't get discouraged, this too shall pass. You're on the right track here! And there's really nothing like a MOM to come restore a little peace to your heart (although, mine wouldn't be any good for my hips, too many treats!)


  7. Oh, how neat of your mother! I wish you luck with the dress, and the singing, and trying to not lose your mind.

  8. Aren't moms the best!!! That is so awesome your mom is coming and that message just put me over the edge!!!

  9. Aren't moms the best?

    Take care and best of luck getting through the next week!!!

  10. Oh, Lara. (First off, I just love love LOVE that dress. Totally gorgeous.)

    I so hear you and so feel for you. It WILL be worth it in the end, and you WILL sing beautifully, and HOPEFULLY you will lose 3 inches from your waist. And in the meantime, what a darling and sweet and kind mom to help when needed.

    I'll send up some prayers for you. I hate feeling like you are feeling and I know how completely draining and overwhelming it is. This too shall pass.

  11. Well I know if your mom were coming to visit ME I would be over the moon as well. And remember you are amazingly beautiful no matter what dress you put on. (And you always have been!)

  12. I'm the same way about asking for help. Darn Pride! I'm so sorry you have such a full plate right now. I'm glad your Mom can come out and help you. Take care of yourself and don't sweat the small stuff. Good luck with everything! HUGS!

  13. That's so awesome that she's coming out.

    You'll have to let me know how you like the Shred video. I've been avoiding it the past week (or two). Granted, my excuse is that I'm sick, so I've been taking it easy on the bike and treadmill (or easier workout videos). I think it's a good workout, but I don't really want to do it. Does that make sense?

    Anyway, I know you'll do great.

  14. Lara, Your brilliant, lovely voice brings such joy and appreciation to anyone who has the privilege of hearing it. I know, as I've been on the receiving end of it many times!! All the rest of the stressful things going on right now will take care of themselves. Concentrate on the preparation for the concert. I know you will WOW everyone!! Love you!

  15. I agree about needing our moms. It is so cool that she is coming to see you. That will really help.

    I am with you on being at the end of your rope. I have felt like I have been on the edge of a mini breakdown this week.

    You will do great with your performance, I just know it. Gonna be video taped? I (we) would love to see! Best of luck!

  16. Hugs! Good luck!

    (The word verification says "drips." Huh.)

  17. I'm totally with you friend! I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed too!

  18. I'm not sure which is more stunning, the dress or you two as a couple, or the fact you learn 20 page arias (did I spell that right? I'm such a music clod!).

    I'm all for priesthood blessings & you losing those inches.

  19. What a great mom. You can do it just take it a day at a time.

  20. I was just blogging about wishing for that kind of a mom. I am so happy you have one and that you shared this post. I want to be like your mom to my kids when they grow up! That is so great.

  21. I hereby give you permission to wear a sweatsuit to your performance (all that stress for a dress hardly seems worth it, but it IS lovely.).

    I've had a February funk too, so I feel your pain. I'm so glad you have help on the way.

  22. Oh, your GOOD mama! I love her for loving you so well. Makes me miss mine. But I'm SO glad that you are asking for help and receiving help!

  23. Thank Heavens for our Mommies!! (Even as an adult I will use that term as the situation calls for it)

  24. Moms are the best - what would we do without them? I don't EVER want to find out! Good luck with your concert. A 15 minute piece? WOW! I'm sure you will sound beautiful.

  25. We mom's still love to be NEEDED, but really I am the one being blessed!! I CAN"T WAIT to hear you sing and see Joel conduct!! Oh, and the girls, well I will scream when I see them!!LOL

  26. That just gave me chills. Moms are the best. Shes' the answer to your prayers (and you are probably the answer to hers).
    Keep it up, not much longer.
    Go team. :)

  27. You. Are. Amazing. You made Valentines for your kids and are memorizing 3 arias? There are no words...

    Good luck handling it all. I know the overwhelmed feeling.

    I feel like all I've done in the past two weeks is sit int he chair with my sick baby. Your house and my house are probably ganging up together. Our Valentine's Night tonight will probably be spent folding laundry.

  28. Thinking of you, and feeling it right there with you. You'll get through it, and you'll come out a stronger woman than you were before. See you on the other side.

  29. What a wonderful Mom you have that she would do that for you! I'm not sure if my mom would do that... granted she still has 6 kids at home. Still, I feel the absence in having to share her with so many siblings as well as sharing her seasons of motherhood and grandmother at the same time.

    Thanks for sharing such a personal experience. (I'm the suffer in silence type, too - blogging about it usually means I've reached my breaking point.) I've often thought that you and Joel must have been foreordained for the musical life you would share together because you truly bless so many lives - and really, what are the odds that two LDS people, so talented musically, would marry? Both of you have strengthened my testimony many times over, and I'm so grateful for your friendship!

    BTW, Jason and I are having a VDay night in, too.

    Love you! Hang in there!

  30. I know the feeling of being far too overwhelmed & underaccomplished, but I know you always pull through Lara.

    Wish I could be there to hear your beautiful voice & see my Brother conduct. What a sweet, sweet Mother you have!

  31. A 15-minute aria?? Holy Italian nightmare, Batman! You're amazing.

    And, if I may respectfully suggest, next time it might be easier to just find a seamstress to let the dress out a little.

    More dress = less stress!

  32. Amen- I can relate to many of the things you listed- except for the singing part- because I have not focused on singing for so long- it is sad. I too have over 1000 things to read on my reader- and a messy house and a lot of weight to lose... :)
    Anyhoo--- love you and know how you may be feeling ;)

  33. Yay for mommies! We daughter never get over needing them.

    (I'm sure you'll do FANTASTIC and you'll fit into the dress with room to spare!)

  34. It's a beautiful dress and I hope you get to wear it, but even if you don't, I'm positive you'll look as beautiful as you sing no matter what you wear.

  35. Oh honey you can't do it all. I'm glad you asked for help, moms are the best!

  36. We all need our moms sometimes. And don't we all want to be needed? Good luck!

  37. With your mom on her way, you're in good hands!

  38. Good luck. I hope this week ends up going great. Moms always seem to help make it better. I hope you can get down to where you want to be to get into that dress. I know you will do it. Just breathe and you will make it through this week.

  39. Your mom ROCKS! Congratulations on her upcoming visit! My heart and prayers are with you.