So I've been dong a lot of Jillian's 30-Day Shred lately.
I'm sure I don't have to tell you that this workout is so hard that sometimes I think I'm going to keel over and die right there in front of my television set. Jillian is one tough cookie, and she doesn't allow you to make excuses or take no for an answer. She is ruthless.
But, she gets results. Even I can attest to that, although you might not know just by looking at me. She did lose me a few inches off my waist in just one week so I could wear the darn dress, after all. Problem is, I still have something like ten more to go, but that is neither here nor there.
When you are working out with Jillian, she tells you things like, "If you want to see results from a 20-minute workout, then you have to push through and just do it. You can't just phone it in." and "It's when it gets hard that you've got to keep going, because that is when your body is going to change." and "You can do anything for one minute."
But, you see, I really can't. I can't do push-ups for one minute, for instance. I have the world's weakest arms.
In college, I took a weight-lifting class to fill a P.E. credit, and I couldn't even bench press the bar, let alone adding 5 measly pounds of weight to it. And they wanted me to be able to bench press 75% of my weight by the end of the semester! Ha!
So, I can't do push-ups for a full minute. Or even 30 seconds, mind you. But, thanks to Jillian, I can do more than I could when I started because I have kept going when it got hard.
And isn't life just the same way? I mean, we all have stuff that's hard. Whether that be keeping our tempers, cleaning the house, or just getting out of bed in the morning. Then of course there's the really hard stuff like death, illness and financial ruin. None of us are exempt from the hard stuff, whatever it is. But we still have to endure it. To the end, just like all those push-ups and sit-ups and butt kicks Jillian says I have to endure.
And when it gets hard, sometimes I give up. I forget to endure to the end. I don't keep my temper, I don't clean the house, and I stay in bed until I can't any longer. And where does that get me? Nowhere. Nothing changes. No positive results. In fact, the more I lose my temper, leave the dishes overnight and sleep longer than is needful, the more I'll continue to do it. It's a vicious cycle, and one that is all too easy to fall into where the hard stuff is concerned.
But Jillian says that when it gets hard, that is when the change happens. If, and only if, you push through it and keep on going. Every time I feel like yelling (or throwing things) and I choose not to, I am slowly changing. I am slowly becoming the woman who doesn't give in to her anger. The one who stays patient and calm despite the insanity around her. Every time I clean the bathrooms when I really don't want to because there are so many other (better) things that I could be doing, I change a little bit of myself. I start to become the mother who realizes that a clean home is a happy home, and that only a few minutes each day will make it that way. I start to become the woman who enjoys cleaning her house, because of the satisfaction it gives her. And every time I get out of bed the first time the alarm goes off at zero-dark-thirty, the easier it becomes the next day, and the next. Until one day (most likely in the very distant future) I will have become a woman who actually looks forward to getting up in the morning and accomplishing great things throughout the day.
Worth it? Yes.
So every day (okay, maybe not every day) as I'm huffing and puffing while Jillian tells me to keep going through 30 more seconds of push-ups or crunches or jumping jacks, my body will slowly change. And every day as I face the hard things in my life head on, and endure to the end, my character will slowly change. My attitude will change. My spirit will change.
And someday, I will be a goddess.
And so will you.