This morning Sophia was not so keen on getting out of bed and getting into the tub so we could get her ready for church. I'm pretty sure that she could have slept at least another two hours, and I'm also pretty sure that she needed that sleep.
But, alas, she didn't get it and instead found herself in the bathtub screaming like it was the end of the world. After about 10 minutes of that, I asked her for the fiftieth time to please calm down, only this time I added, "Goodness, Sophia! Nobody's trying to kill you or anything!"
To which she answered, even more emotionally than before, "Moooooommmmmmy!!! If you kill me...(sob)...if you KILL me.....(sob) (sob)....then Jesus....(sob)....then Jesus.....(sob)....Jesus is NOT GOING TO LIKE YOU ANYMORE!"
And that's when I realized that I have a lot of recent Sophia quotes written down that really must be shared. Just a warning, though: Sophia does not like laughing. So you are not allowed to laugh. Or smile. Got it?
Sophia's Words of Wisdom
On her mother's bossiness:
"You're not a queen, Mom! You're just a mom!"
"You're not the boss of everything, Mom."
On having to go to time-out:
"I wish I was Batman that's a girl and you wasn't, then I could fly high up in the sky and you could not catch me."
On the Batman costume her mother bought her, knowing of her wishes to be Batman that's a girl (see above) and fly away from all discipline:
"Mom! This Batman costume doesn't even WORK! I not really flying."
On her recurring nightmares that a black guy (Darth Vader, I think, or possibly even Batman) is chasing her:
"I blessed the black guy to Father in my prayer, and now he doesn't chase me in my dreams anymore. He chases skeretons instead."
On the socks she received for her birthday from her Primary teacher that say "Follow Christ" on them:
"Daddy say I can do whatever I want today because it's my birthday, so I don't have to say prayers and read scriptures!"
"Sophia, Jesus still wants you to say your prayers, even if it's your birthday."
"I'M GONNA TAKE MY SOCKS OFF THEN!!!!"
And, true to her word, she sat down and pulled those Follow Christ socks right off of her feet.
And then I stuffed them in my mouth to keep from giggling.
Because, after all, Sophia doesn't like laughing.