Yesterday was a little insane, which is why I didn't get this up right after dinner as usual. But, insane as it was (the plow left the entire city's worth of plow crud on my driveway, Joel was not in town so I had to shovel said plow crap, I had to bring an investigator to church and couldn't get up the hill, and...much more), it was also one of the most wonderful Sabbaths I have experienced in a long while.
On Friday, Joel texted me from Texas to tell me that a member of the Stake Presidency needed to speak to us together the next day. Of course, this would be slightly tricky since he wasn't actually in town, but we figured it out thanks to modern technology.
He was called into the Branch Presidency, which was reorganized yesterday. Our Sacrament meeting was spent making the change and listening to a few impromptu testimonies from the outgoing and incoming Branch Presidents and their wives, a couple missionaries who are being transferred this week, and a newer member from China who will be moving back to China soon. Then, the Stake President got up and said he would like me to go up and sing a solo. At first, I thought he was going to have me bear my testimony as well and I really hate doing that. I have a hard time putting my feelings into spoken word, and sometimes even into the written word. I fear this causes me to keep my testimony too close to my heart and not share it with others as often as I should--at least not at the pulpit. When he asked me to sing instead, I was completely relieved. Singing in front of people is (usually) pretty easy for me, and I would much rather do that than speak!
He requested that I sing Where Can I Turn for Peace. I'm not really sure why as the meeting didn't have a particular theme, but he certainly couldn't have known that peace is my chosen word for the year. He couldn't have known that I have a personal struggle with finding peace in my life. He couldn't have known how much I needed to hear the words to that hymn myself.
Where can I turn for peace?
Where is my solace
When other sources cease to make me whole?
When with a wounded heart, anger, or malice,
I draw myself apart,
Searching my soul?
Where, when my aching grows,
Where, when I languish,
Where, in my need to know, where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand?
He, only One.
He answers privately,
Reaches my reaching
In my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend.
Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching.
Constant he is and kind,
Love without end.
Text: Emma Lou Thayne
One of the things I have really learned these past 27 days of focusing on peace in my life, is that I don't often go to the true source of peace. I'm slow to remember to turn to my scriptures or to kneel in prayer when life becomes too chaotic for me to handle. I think that things like a clean house or a less frenetic schedule are the only things that can possibly bring me peace. And while those things definitely help, the truth is that I can only find true peace from my Savior. He, only One.
I'm thankful to have a husband who never forgets this principle. To have a husband who drops to his knees as soon as he rolls out of bed each morning. To have a husband whose scriptures are always on the dining room table after he leaves each day because he read them during his breakfast. To have a husband who is diligent about doing these same things with me and with our children. He is such an example to me. He never lets his busy schedule get in the way of his relationship with The Lord.
I've been better. I have a phone alert that reminds me to read my scriptures. And, again with the modern technology, I don't even have to go find them because I can read them right on my phone. I can't mark them up the way I'd like, but it's a start, and I can read them wherever I happen to be. I've also made it a point to pray more often and more fervently.
And guess what? These things help me find peace much more easily than a clean house, quiet children, or a simpler schedule.
I'm very grateful that I was given the opportunity to share my own testimony through song--which is the best way I personally know how--in our meeting yesterday. But I'm even more grateful for the personal message that was given to me by a loving Heavenly Father. A reminder to turn to Him first, and that the other stuff will always work out.
More on my 2014 quest for peace:
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