Thursday, April 12, 2007

The pathway to you-know-where is paved with good intentions

I don't remember if it was this past New Year, or New Year 2006, but Ali Edwards made a big deal out of changing her wording from "Resolutions" to "Intentions." Of course, scrapbookers everywhere went absolutely ga-ga over the idea, because everyone loves her so much. (She's a big celeb in the scrapping world, for my friends who either don't scrapbook or just plain don't really care about scrapbook celebrities.)

Personally, I hated the idea. I mean, don't get me wrong, Ali E. is a very inspiring person and I like her just as much as the next scrapper. But the semantics just didn't work for me.

Resolve. Now that is a good word. It speaks of determination. A goal that you will achieve no matter what obstacle is placed before you.

Intend. Also a great word, but not one I would label with the word determination. Desire, yes. Determination? Not quite.

I mean, I already intend to be perfect. I don't really need to write down all my intentions as goals. I am bursting with good intentions. Like right now, I intend to clean my kitchen, scrapbook, be a loving and patient mother, vacuum the house, read to Chloe, bathe the baby, upload some pictures to be printed, read my scriptures, exercise, eat right, work on my canvases for the girls' room and another hundred different little things. I also intend to someday write a book, win Hall of Fame, become an amazing photographer, knit myself a sweater and backpack Europe. I have not actually resolved to do any of them, unfortunately.

Due to this lack of resolve, most of my intentions probably won't actually happen. I fully admit how easily sidetracked I am, patience isn't a virtue I claim to have, and I am sitting here blogging about it instead of getting up and making all of those intentions a reality.

I often wonder how I can make the change from intention to resolution. Because when I actually resolve to do something, I can do it. I will do it. Nothing will stop me from doing it. I just don't resolve as often as I probably should. Heck, even my New Year's Resolution this year was a little weefy...mostly because I haven't been in a resolved mindset since Sophia was born. More like a just survive the day kind of mindset.

Which is okay...I just think I'm ready to really resolve. But, I don't know how. Because I am amazing and can achieve very lofty goals, if only in my mind. The problem is, I am out of practice in getting those goals and intentions down on real paper and really working on them.

So, internet, what do you do? Give me some suggestions on how I can make this essential paradigm shift. I want to come back to this post later today with lots of ideas. Lots of experiences. Please, please, please add yours.

I intend to get at least 15 helpful comments on this post.

And I resolve to go do the dishes.
Lara Neves
Lara Neves

Lara is mom to three daughters—two teens and a tween. She loves to share her parenting and homemaking triumphs and failures here at Overstuffed! She was diagnosed with Lyme disease in 2015 and has been fighting it ever since. When she isn't working on her mother of the year award, you can find her reading, singing, or taking photos.


  1. OH Gosh.. I don't know if I have any ideas... but.. I think you're doing wonderful now.. being a GREAT mom and raising your kiddos... whom are adorable and well loved!! I never set my sights on perfectionism.. just being the best I can be TODAY!! and through that journey of many days.. I would hope that it would evolve into something GROOVY the next.. Ü

  2. Be patient with yourself. It will happen when it's the right time. That paradigm shift may be months and months down the road.

  3. Lara,

    I'm so with you on the "survive the next day kind of mindset." DH and I were just talking last night about the future and I told him that it's close to impossible to think past tomorrow, let alone a month from now. I'm definitely in survivor mode.

    One of my biggest struggles is finding joy in my daily life. This may sound stupid, but sometimes all it takes to change my outlook is to pretend to be happy for a little while. Somehow it works.

    And now I resolve to clean off my desk! Peter's birthday party is on Saturday and my house needs a makeover!

  4. Well herre is my two cents worth, which of course isn't much! Ther is a difference between expectations and intentions. The one you will always fail (expectations and have very negative feelings) and the other you will succeeded because you intended to do something, if you made it a reality it was great success, if you couldn't get to it, the emotional success is still there. The point is you keep doing the best you can day in and day out. Soon things do become habits, so replace the not so good ones with those intentions until they become habits. It's tough growing up I think.

  5. For me, I can resolve to do... basically, just one thing at a time....
    You've gotta pick the most important thing (aka, backpack europe) tackle that one first and then move on -- at least that's how it works for me.

  6. I think you make a lot of good points. And with that, I resolve to win HOF next year! LOL!!!

    How about you?!? You with me ;)

  7. I also have a lot of good intentions. Resolutions are a different matter. Most of the resolutions I make are things I'm trying to force myself to do. Hmmmm. Don't have an answer for you, but thanks for making me think!

  8. I have no advice but I'm just envious that you are LOOKING to do some resolutions....I'm just doing nothing about anything!

  9. Hmmm... I think Hilary has a point. Choosing one, truly attainable goal might be the key. Adding steps to achieve this goal into your daily things to do list. If we could end each week with "what did I do to bring myself closer to my goal?" I think we could get closer. And then saving the other items on the resolution list to stand at the ready to take the place of achieved goals so we always have something we're working toward for ourselves (outside of the very important "mommy goals.")....????

  10. Do laughing yoga! Then it all falls into place!