Wednesday, August 22, 2007

That's me, trying to make everyone happy

It kills me when something I do upsets someone. Seriously kills me. I hate it, I stew about it, I worry and fret, I apologize, I try everything I can to make it better. But sometimes there really isn't anything I can do.

I had to make a decision recently that let down a friend. But, the decision I made was the best thing for my family, and really the only decision I could make under the circumstances.

I'm having a hard time with it. It really bothers me to know that I've disappointed her, but I know I made the right decision. I mean, the right decision is pretty disappointing to me, too, but what can I do? So, even though she's very upset with me, I don't know what to do other than apologize profusely which I've done now several times.

I want to know how not to be affected by this. I know you can't make everybody happy all of the time. I know that my family is first. I know that ultimately, this isn't my problem. If she were in the same situation, I would hope that she would make the same decision I made and not feel like she has to worry about me being upset about it.

And the thing is, I don't really care that she's mad at me. I care that I've hurt her feelings somehow. I can deal with anger, but I just hate knowing that I let someone down.

Anyway, I'd love advice. (Sorry for being so cryptic, I promise it's nothing too serious.)
Lara Neves
Lara Neves

Lara is mom to three daughters—two teens and a tween. She loves to share her parenting and homemaking triumphs and failures here at Overstuffed! She was diagnosed with Lyme disease in 2015 and has been fighting it ever since. When she isn't working on her mother of the year award, you can find her reading, singing, or taking photos.


  1. No advice - sorry.

    Hugs and prayers being sent your way though.

    Good job on making the decision that was best for your family. Ultimately, that is the most important thing ever!

  2. Hmm... how the minds of your blog readers will wander...
    You had to turn-down un-requted love....
    You have a vampire that lusts after you....
    Frankly, you are a duck, criticism is water, it just rolls right off of you.
    Be strong.
    Go you.

  3. I just left a long comment, and have no idea what happened to it, so lets see if I can try this again. . .

    I know exactly how you feel because I do the same thing. I have a bad habit of speaking without thinking, and then THINKING I have offended someone (normally I haven't). But if I have offended I tend to dwell on it, and sometimes loose sleep.

    I remember a talk of president Hinkley's about forgiveness. It said something to the effect of sometimes when people are offended the have a hard time forgetting and forgiving. There are also those who make mountains out of molehills.

    I know that's speaking of those who have been offended, but you can apply the same to you. If you have apologized, and done what you can, then it's time to forget (easier said then done, I know). Try not to make mountains out of molehills.

  4. My therapist tells me: I would rather take care of my needs and have someone bugged at me, then let someone else have control over me and be bugged at them.

  5. A true friend would be understanding, and a true friend, would accept an apology, even if it means talking it out first.

    Maybe this friend, isn't such a good friend after all.

  6. Lara, it sounds like you have done everything you can, and you can only do so much if she chooses to remain upset with you. You sound like a very thoughtful, considerate person, and you should cut yourself some slack!

  7. I'm with Misty and Kathy...
    but I feel the same way you do often times.

    So hang in there. Things will get better!