Thursday, January 22, 2009

True to me

I really like blogging. (Perhaps you've noticed?)

One of my favorite things about blogging is all of the wonderful women I've met through their blogs. I love looking into their lives and seeing the things that they do because they teach me so much. I love learning from them. It's wonderful.

One of my least favorite things about blogging is all of the wonderful women I've met through their blogs. I hate looking into their lives and seeing all the things that they do because I start to get jealous. I hate it when I compare myself to them. It's not very wonderful.

I suppose this is just how we women are, and blogging just makes it a little more obvious because we can see into the lives and homes of so many other women than we do in our real lives. I've been thinking about it, though, and I've made some realizations.

The things I'm jealous of are usually things like how fashionable someone is. Or how amazingly her home is decorated. You know, that adorable haircut she got and posted a picture of. The awesome pink skirt she bought somewhere. The great rug you noticed in that picture of them opening gifts in her (fabulous) living room at Christmas. The gorgeous dishes she has. On which she serves gourmet meals that you could never (and let's be honest, would never) make yourself.

Then I get jealous of their abilities. She's a great writer. She's a great cook. She's a better photographer than I am. She's such a calm mother. Just look how hilarious she is! And so on and so forth.

But here it is. I am great, too. And guess what? I don't wear pink skirts, no matter how cute they are. They're just not me. That haircut she posted? Well, it would look horrible with my face, and plus, I have too much hair and it would never work. That rug really isn't my style either, great as it is. It's too bright, and come to think of it, my living room is all black and dark red. The dishes, I'd still like to have, but I have some great dishes, too. So there. I also have abilities of my own. I don't need to put myself down because someone else can do something better than I can. Life isn't a competition! I just need to do my own personal best, and keep learning how to do better.

Most of the time, I remember that. But, it's easy to forget with all of you amazing women writing blogs out there.

Keep writing them though, and I will choose to learn from you rather than sit around wishing I could just be you. I will be true to me and be happy with that.

Because I rather like to blog. (Perhaps you've noticed?)
Lara Neves
Lara Neves

Lara is mom to three daughters—two teens and a tween. She loves to share her parenting and homemaking triumphs and failures here at Overstuffed! She was diagnosed with Lyme disease in 2015 and has been fighting it ever since. When she isn't working on her mother of the year award, you can find her reading, singing, or taking photos.


  1. I'm glad you're being true to you because that is what makes the world great! That we are all different! I do enjoy reading your blog, too.

  2. Great post. I noticed at Christmas time I was having some serious "house envy" when I saw how gorgeous the decorations in some of the homes are. Then I realized that since I work in retail and my Christmas schedule is really obnoxious that I would never have time to put all of those decorations up and it would take forever to take them down. I usually snap out of the envy pretty quickly.

  3. I understand how you feel. I comment on peoples blogs who refuse to visit mine or if they do they don't leave comments.

    It can almost feel like High School. The popular crowd and the nerds.

    It's ok though. I'm happy with my few readers and all the good things they bring to my blog. I've yet to get negative feedback and should be happy for that.

    Be happy with who you are. I love your blog. You take better pictures than me. Your house is decorated way better than me. You can sew, I can't. You have 3 beautiful girls, I only have 1. I can point our differences all day but I'm me and your are you.

    Just be yourself and be happy about it. :o)

  4. Well, since I only blog about the books I read, I assume you CAN'T be talking about me. ; ) Anyway, my house is plain ol', plain ol'. I am (more than) a little overweight, and I have more bad hair days than good ones. I use Corelle dishes every day (my real china has never been used--it still just sits looking pretty in the cabinet after almost 10 years) and I am NOT the most patient mother in the world. I am who God made me, though, and I try to be happy with that and strive to imitate Christ. I fail, but God gives me grace.

    Great post, btw!

  5. Well, I'm jealous of you! So neener-neener-neener!!!!

  6. Keyona says it's like High School. I felt like you were talking about Relief Society!

    Lara, you are one of the most generous souls I've met in Blog World, and that makes up for just about every shortcoming you imagine yourself having.

    I feel like, in Blog World, I'm everyone' sister? (Please don't tell me if I'm old enough to be your mother; my 44 year old heart couldn't take it!) But I have been around the block a few dozen more times than you have. And one of the BEST gifts the next 10-15 years will give you will be wrapped in a box labeled, "Things I've gotten over".

    And a lot of the hangups you mention today will be inside.

    Just don't ever stop being your sweet, gracious self. That gift, you need to keep!

  7. I really love your blog. It is well written and your pics are Amazing, of course you have adorable subjects. I know mine is poorly written. My camera is the worst and my photography just plain stinks.

    I can definitely agree with the Christmas comment. I saw some gorgeous stuff. My kids break a few things every year, so I only have things I can do without or were really marked down. Same thing seems to go with furniture, clothes, etc. Being a redhead, I don't think I have ever worn pink in my life!

    But I trudge on, I know people somewhat read it even if they don't comment. They will call me and say update please. About twice a year I look back through my posts and I am so Glad I posted about this or that. Those kind of things make me smile.

  8. Lara, I admit, I look at you and wonder if I will ever be as great as a mom as you clearly are.

    I think that envy isn't always bad. I am not envious of you in a backbiting, jealous kind of a way, but in a "I hope I can emulate that someday.", kind of way.

    I hope that makes sense.

  9. Wantong what others have isn't always bad. I kown I look at other people's blogs and it motivates be a better mom, a better scrapbooker, a better photography.

    You motivate me to be all those! I love your blog too!

  10. Ha!! Surely you realize that all those bloggers you envy envy you right back! It's the whole comparing your strengths with their weaknesses thing. When you do that ANYONE can be better than you, because you're only looking at a tiny part of that person.

    Also, people choose what they blog about, so all the bad stuff doesn't usually come out. Except for on blogs like mine. I hope I make you feel better about yourself! :)

  11. I love the way you wrote this.
    I always remember that some blogs are not really an accurate representation of what's happening in a person/family's life. I'm pretty happy with my life, rented home, hand-m-down-jeans, and beat up dining table and all.

  12. Whew! After reading this, I'm pretty sure you're not jealous of me. My house isn't decorated cute. I have no fashion sense. My plates are Target plastic plates, for heaven sake! But I like that we can hang out at each other's houses and enjoy each other's company and get to know each other better.

    And I am only a little jealous of your photography skills and your amazing voice :)

  13. This was a perfectly written post. I couldn't agree more. I find myself being jealous of SO many woman out in the blogging world. But then I sit back and think about how I can make the changes I want to make for myself. I have to remind myself that I can get inspired without being jealous. Wonderful post.

  14. I tend to get more jealous on facebook then I do on blogs... my friend just posted about her trip to NYC and I was dying of the green monster. On blogs I just tend to learn more, I suppose. Of course I am OBVIOUSLY SO AMAZING MYSELF that I would NEVER think someone's better then me.
    Yeah right.
    Oh, except for your 40 cent tuna. I am very bitter about that.

  15. I do love the women I have met on here. The only thing that ever makes that little green eyed monster try to come out in me is everyone's talent. That's a hard one - but I'm trying.

  16. I just happened onto your blog from MMB. The words in this post could've come right out of my mouth. So many great ladies in the blogosphere, and so many people to compare ourselves to. Maybe we all make each other better!

  17. Ah you've hit on the hardest thing about blogging I'm sure. And there's not much you can do except focus on your own abilities and try not to compare. But boy it's tough.

  18. Mmmmmhmmm. I know how you feel. And I wonder how you'd feel if you knew how many readers feel the exact same way about YOU, my dear, me among them. :)

  19. Ha, ha, you are so funny!:D
    I think the main reason why you have so many followers is because you help all of us be real and your talents make us want to be better at ours.

    For example, your recent front door organization project, the Fun Shui host just mentioned that as a way to focus respect on you from any that graces your home. You accomplished the same thing with your own great style and personally, that's what I love about you.

    I'm not a pink person either...

  20. Wow, you've made the same point I just recently made on my own blog...not exactly in the same way, but very similar. Check it out! :-)

  21. Well, luckily you aren't jealous of me, because I suck at most of what you wrote there. I do have some dishes that I like that I bought at the grocery store for $1 a piece, but I haven't posted those, and you may not like them.

    Besides, I am jealous of your writing skills and PHOTOG skills, and especially your voice. I would love to have a beautiful voice.

    Do we ever out grow this? Or am I gonna be wishing that my Depends looked as good on me as they do on you?

  22. Wow, you really summed it up perfectly! I think we ALL feel that way when we read the blogs of other amazing women.

    And you are SO much better at blogging than I am! I always have so many things to write about, and I never find time to do it! So keep up the good work, you're setting a high bar!

  23. As women, we tend to compare the worst part of ourselves against the best parts of others--and lots of them. We don't stand a chance! It became so painful for me (esp. since I didn't even have a normal child for so long) that I just took myself out of the race. It has been so much nicer and easier! However, when I started blogging, hoo-eee! It was hard b/c you are right, there are so many great bloggists and it was discouraging. I'm working on it.

  24. I agree with a lot of the "grass is greener" sentiments. We women are brutal - to ourselves and each other (just look at the NSBR! dayummmm...) Most my jealousy comes from those that live in better climates and are prettier, younger and skinnier. I hate how old I am now and people are guessing that I look OLDER than I am! :-(

  25. that was so well written.
    i know EXACTLY what you mean.

    and, it sounds like you've got a good take on how to make blogging fit into your life without controlling it.

  26. I loved every single thing you had to say. Keep on blogging! Notice I don't post and after baby shots of myself?? Yah I would rather die than to have to post those!

  27. Girl! I love your blog! You always have something witty to say or comment about. I get made fun of because I rarely post or when I do I don't post anything of "substance"! HA! Dear you are one of those women that I envy! How's that! :D

  28. I love yur blog...and you do way more things way better than me...
    I think I tend to only post about what's good, not on the negative. I feel an obligation to do that, since my husband is a Bishop, and they don't need me carping about my pet peeves, etc. And I think most bloggers like to read the positive more than negative stuff (unless, for me if the writer is really witty and ironic. There are quite a few of those out there - they make me laugh like Crazy!).
    ....and I don't mean to complain, but I follow YOUR blog, but you don't follow mine! I'd love it if you would!

  29. I am glad that you are going to be true to you because that is just how I like you. I feel the same many times because as I look at others and you too there are so many great things that you do and are talented with but I am grateful that you share with others.

  30. I'm too lazy to read all the comments, but I'm sure we're all saying the same thing. Amen and amen.

    I believe I myself have written at least three posts about this very subject. And countless more in my head.

    And let's face it, girl. WE'RE all jealous of YOU!

  31. Oh man, no kidding. We just can't be comparing. Just sharing--laughing, learning---blogging our little souls out. I think I am older then 90% of you out there and I look at you beautiful ladies with your still cute figures and wrinkless faces and it makes me feel rather old and valueless. BUT the nice thing about getting older you really don't worry to much about jealousies the way I used to. Not enough time to worry about it-----I want to have fun with each part of my day. No one can be YOU --so that makes you the Best and unable to be duplicated.

  32. Very well written! I love reading what you have to say. You are a great writer. I agree with everything said. And there are so many people that admire you too. Don't forget that. You have many many talents that I wish I had. But I am glad I am me at the same time. Let's all be true to ourselves and be the best WE can be. Thanks for sharing your wonderful thoughts.

  33. Lara- you should certainly be proud of all your own talents and abilities! You are a very amazing woman! I like blogging too, it's such an outlet. Some of my work friends don't understand how I find the time, but it's just one of those things where if you enjoy it, you make the time for it!

  34. I love what Kristina P. said.

    I totally hear you. And I'm consistently surprised at how even the biggest of bloggers has these same insecurities at times.

    I have them too, but I work on it in much the same way you do. I tell my boys all the time that there is only one of them. They can't be anyone else and they're so great the way they are. There will never be another like you....

    I should listen to myself more often :)

  35. I love the honesty you just showed here. LOVE it!

    I look at a few blogs and think holy cow they are so beautiful, and then stop myself, but it is so hard not to compare.

    thanks for the blog, youll find honesty at mine, usually more than what makes the average person comfortable. LOL

  36. I know in my case, what's on my blog is a teeny tiny fraction of what my life is like. I rarely if ever post a lot of emotional things or issues going on in my life. Someone might think I have a really hunky-dory life, not having any clue that my blog isn't a good representation of my life in that sense. I try to remember that when I see others' blogs--they can't possibly represent their writers' lives that accurately either.

  37. How on earth were you able to climb inside my brain??

    I feel the exact same way all the time!

    "her house is so big... she is so beautiful... she never fights with her husband... she is so freakin' funny... she gets so many comments..." yada yada yada.

    Its just one more way, I think, that Satan has to beat us down... if we let him. There are so many wonderful things about blogging, but it is quite easy to let the green eyed monster reign.

    Wonderful post! As usual.

  38. I should put this post on my fridge....

    and for the record: I've been jealous of you in exactly the same ways SOOOOOO many times!! ;) But I love you too much for it to eat me up inside. (Usually....tee hee)

    You're amazing and dynamic.