Sunday, February 15, 2009

A Valentine's Day meme for President's Day

Yes. I'm late to the game. I'm aware.

I saw it on lots of blogs this weekend, and even though I've answered one or two of the questions in another meme, most of them are fresh. And I am fresh out of interesting things to write.

All you meme-haters out there can just stop reading now, and I won't even care. But this is a good one, or I wouldn't have done it in the first place.

Okay, so I probably would have, but I still think it's one of the better memes out there.

1. Where did you and your husband meet?

We met at BYU, in the HFAC at The Slab. Totally normal place for two music majors to meet each other. We actually had two first meetings--one right before I left on my mission, and another right after I came home--and both of them were right there at The Slab.

2. How long before you kissed?

We met for the second first time in December of 1997 and our first kiss took place on Mother's Day of 1998. Joel is a notoriously slow mover, but we had only really been "dating" since early March.

3. Who kissed who first?

Joel kissed me first. I am not that kind of girl. But I will admit that I was getting pretty impatient.

4. How long from the time you met until you were engaged?

If we're going to go from the first first meeting, which we probably shouldn't, it was 3 years and a couple months. If we go from the second first meeting it was a year and a half.

5. How did he propose?

He took me out to eat at Bombay House in Provo, and then we went back to his house. I guess he had devised some elaborate treasure hunt involving key places in our dating (he was almost an hour late picking me up for this date), but ran out of time (or nerve) so instead he ended up pacing his living room while I watched him. He was still wearing his coat, where he had stashed the ring, and he finally gathered up the courage and got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. Obviously, I said yes, and then I did a cartwheel.

6. Did he pick out the ring or did you?

Technically, neither of us did. I wear my grandmother's wedding ring. It's a Tiffany platinum with a line of 6 small diamonds across. Very simple, circa 1944 (my favorite decade) and exactly what I would have chosen myself. He picked out two thin white gold bands that I wear on either side of the diamond ring. Not only was it just what I wanted, it didn't send us into horrible debt, either. Because we had school to do that for us.

7. Do you still like the ring?

Love it! And I'm even more thrilled that I can actually wear it again since losing weight. I never did get it resized after I had Sophie and I couldn't put it back on. But I can now! If I ever got a nicer diamond or different setting or whatever, I don't know if I'd wear it on my left hand. But I can't say how I'll feel when that day ever comes, as it is not in the forseeable future, anyway.

8. Where was your wedding and reception?

We were married in the Jordan River Temple and the reception was in my parents' backyard in Orem. Perfectly lovely reception on a perfectly lovely June day.

9. How many bridesmaids did you have, and who was your maid of honor?

I did not have bridesmaids at all, and my Matron of Honor was my best friend, Bonnie. Even though I'd never think of her as matronly, that's what you call it since she was married before me.

10. What color were your bridesmaid dresses?

Bonnie wore a red dress at my request. I didn't really care what it looked like (as long as it wasn't horrid or anything!) and I wasn't into any fancy pants dresses for a backyard reception, anyway. So she chose a simple red dress that I'm sure she was able to wear to church the next day with no raised eyebrows.

11. What was your bouquet made of?

Red Roses, Stargazer lilies, little purple flowers and ivy hanging down. It was fake. It still is fake. I had a simple bouquet made of real flowers that I used to throw at the reception.

12. Who gave you away?

Not applicable for a temple wedding.

13. Did you cry during your wedding?

A little bit. Mostly I was just absolutely relieved that Joel even showed up and said yes over the altar.

14. What style was your dress?

Simple. Empire waist with beaded lace at the top and chiffon skirt and small train. I was annoyed because the alterations were not perfect. I actually fit better into the size smaller, but it was already sold so I had to take the bigger one and have it altered, and it really wasn't a great job, and there was not time to fix it.

Here's a picture from an earlier post (too lazy to re-upload and I can't find the scan on my computer and I'm definitely too lazy to re-scan).

15. Was your wedding kiss sweet or sexy?

Sweet, since we were in the temple, after all.

16. Who caught your bouquet?

Joel's niece, Stefanie. She was maybe 12 or 13 at the time and she's not married yet! :)

17. What flavor was your cake?

We had 3 tiers on the cake with 4 satellite cakes, and they were all a different flavor. Something to please everyone. I'm pretty sure the lower tier had chocolate, and that's what we cut into when we cut the cake. The satellites were served first to guests: white, yellow, red velvet and Devil's food, I think. I really have no idea, though!

18. Did you smash the cake onto each other's faces or feed it to each other nicely?

We were reasonably nice, but Joel did feed me a super huge piece. It's a good thing my mouth is so big, or it probably would have been all over my dress.

19. What was "your song" that you danced to at your wedding?

We didn't dance at our wedding, but "our song" was playing on the wedding video the whole time. It's Con Te Partiro by Andrea Bocelli.

20. What did you serve your guests to eat?

Joel's brothers did all our food, mostly Dave. It was sandwiches and fruit if I remember right. I don't even think I got to eat any of it.

21. What did your friends do to decorate your car?

First of all, friends had no part in the decorating. It was all our brothers. My brothers did some whipped cream and that sort of thing. I don't think I can write about what Joel's brothers did. I will say that we found birth control items all over the interior of our car for months after we got married. I will also say that my mom was horrified.

22. What was your favorite wedding gift?

Maybe a set of white mixing bowls from Williams Sonoma. My uncle gave us a pretty nice TV, and we actually have used it up until this past weekend when it was finally relegated to the garage.

23. What was the worst wedding gift you got?

I don't know. We did get a few things that were very obviously regifts. Like a salsa bowl shaped like a chili pepper. As far as what we got the most of? Pizza cutters. I think we got around 8 of them.

24. Where did you go on your honeymoon?

We spent nearly a week in Lake Tahoe/San Francisco. We miniature golfed, spent time on the lake, shopped, ate at great restaurants, or holed up in the condo watching rented videos.

25. Looking back, is there anything you would have changed about your wedding?

I probably would have registered for gifts. I was adamantly against it at the time, I'm not even really sure why. I think I just didn't want to appear greedy. But it sure would have saved a lot of hassle.

I would have also convinced my mother more vigorously that black was a perfectly acceptable color for a wedding. I wanted black, white and red but I ended up with red, white and purple. However, she was just overcoming a very difficult illness at the time of my wedding and it wasn't really worth it to me. (About a month before I got married I had a fiance recovering from major surgery and a mother in the hospital. Thank goodness for Bonnie and all her help or I might have landed myself in the hospital along with them!)

Really, though? Once the day came, none of it really mattered. I didn't notice the flowers or the centerpieces or the tablecloths or the cake or anything. The only thing that was important was that I was getting married to the man I wanted to spend forever with.
Lara Neves
Lara Neves

Lara is mom to three daughters—two teens and a tween. She loves to share her parenting and homemaking triumphs and failures here at Overstuffed! She was diagnosed with Lyme disease in 2015 and has been fighting it ever since. When she isn't working on her mother of the year award, you can find her reading, singing, or taking photos.


  1. Fun meme--and gorgeous picture! (Yay for another red and black wedding!)

  2. Sounds really fun and pretty. I am laughing at Annette's comment. I thought of her as you shared your colors :)

    The cake sounds divine. Yum.

  3. I don't even know what The Slab is, and I was at BYU for 2 years!

    And Adam's family put rice in his car. Inside everything. There was rice coming out of the vents for years. I wasn't very happy.

  4. I love your last comment. My mom reminded me of that everyday we were planning my wedding and it's so true! It doesn't matter. A long happy marriage does! 'Cause heaven knows the world has seen a lot of wonderful weddings but nasty divorces!

  5. Lovely. And I'm with you; I don't remember much except I was ECSTATIC at the temple (in the pictures I look like I'm selling toothpaste!) and the reception went 1 1/2 hours longer than we put on the announcement and I was SO done by the time we left.

    The simpler, the better. Hope I can convince my girls (and my sons, come to think of it) of this wonderful truth.

  6. I loved reading this--you have such a great writing voice!

  7. I loved all of my friends that were in my wedding, but if I had it to do over again I wouldn't have had any bridesmaids. And I would have had dancing. Dang it!

  8. You didn't like our chili pepper shaped salsa bowl? he he.

    It was a beautiful day! I remember us all commenting on how Joel really picked a good one. And he did.

  9. This is a side note to Anne-Marie!! And We all commented on how Lara found a good one too!! So glad to have the Neves in our lives!!

  10. I love this meme! I'm off to copy it on my "Secret" blog.

    You and your friends have such cool stuff to keep blogging. :D

  11. I love the story about your ring. How special to wear a family heirloom.

  12. The picture is lovely, the ring sounds beautiful, and I can't believe how many people didn't have bridesmaids!

    I've always thought registering was quite lame for the same reason (I want this, I want this, buy me this etc.)but it really is so practical, too.

  13. I agree with the stuff on the day doesn't really matter. There are a bunch of things I probably would/wouldn't have done looking back knowing what I know now. I'm just really happy to have my Derek for forever!

  14. Look at your on your wedding day!! Beautiful!

  15. That was fun to read -- especially about your ring and engagement :D I love the Bombay House, BTW!

  16. Yeah I can imagine red and black for you. On that day, when you finally get to that day it is just nice to have it be actually that day and be able to go on. What a relief. Very interesting post.

  17. Cute meme! I like reading about how you and Joel got together.

  18. I was sick, SICK, sick to learn that you did not register! Don't you know it's all about the gifts? Ah well, can't cry over spilt milk... Happy late Valentines Day :)

  19. This is a great meme! I would love to see a picture of your ring- it sounds lovely!

  20. Now black is totally cool for weddings... ahh.. these times they are a changin'.

  21. Sorry had tons of errands this morning; forgot to tell you how gorgeous your dress was in the picture. I would love to have at least one kissing photo of us but Charlie forgot that part during any of our photo ops! LOL

  22. I love this meme actually. I loved learning more about you this way. Isn't it funny how much stress there is involved in planning a wedding (especially all that was going on in your lives) and it just goes by in a blur and we're not focused on the extra stuff anyway. But looking back, it's all worth it.

  23. Looooove Bombay house! Chicken Makhani and Mango Lassi. Mmmmmm. Great meme, loved it!

  24. This was a very fun meme to read! Your wedding ring sounds lovely and my hubby and I were married in the Jordan River Temple as well! Loved it. And I love your dress.

  25. Lara - Can I just say.."My brother did good getting you!" Just look at those girls you both created.

    Love the wedding day pic. Brings back so many memories. Thanks for sharing. I always enjoy learning more about you :)

    Love you

  26. Hi, I was looking to get your button for Issac but the code looks like it is missing pieces?

    Id you could email me at I would really appreciate it!