I'm not gonna lie. As a musician who married an even better musician, I often dream about my little family doing performances together someday. And yet, those hopes are often dashed during practice time when all I hear is how much they hate piano/violin/music/me. Sometimes it seems like it would just be easier to give up on the darn music and not fight about it every morning.
And then one of them will say something that makes me realize it's all worth it.
Like what Bria said yesterday morning:
"I just feel so joyful when I'm playing my violin that I sometimes forget to do the right bowing."
Yeah. We'll just focus in on that joyful bit.
That's what music is supposed to be about anyway--joy.
The bowing will get there eventually.
Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Lara Neves
Lara is mom to three daughters—two teens and a tween. She loves to share her parenting and homemaking triumphs and failures here at Overstuffed! She was diagnosed with Lyme disease in 2015 and has been fighting it ever since. When she isn't working on her mother of the year award, you can find her reading, singing, or taking photos.
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My brother and I used to complain about having to take piano lessons—my mom let him quit when he started high school, but thought the better of it when I reached that age and made me stick with it. I'm so, so glad she did—I'm nowhere near the musician you or Joel are, but it feels so good to have that in my life, even peripherally. And my brother really regrets having given it up. So keep fighting the good fight! When your girls are old enough to understand, they'll appreciate the tremendous gift you've given them. Music is like nothing else, and you and Joel are amazing parents to be able to pass it on to your girls.
ReplyDeleteMy brothers and I all grew up being "forced" to play piano---sometimes we hated it but my mom stuck with it and we're all pretty good now. Plus, the four of us all decided to pick up guitar on our own and our piano background makes it much easier. We often will play songs together on the guitar now...so even if it's not the instrument you picked, your kids will probly always have music in their lives:)
ReplyDeleteI love how Bria is so expressive! But I KNOW it was all worth it, look at what happened with you!
ReplyDeleteDoesn't that just make you so proud!
ReplyDeleteDays like that do make it worth it. What a sweetheart.
ReplyDeleteI agree with everything that has been said so far! My mother also made me take piano lessons. I enjoyed the piano, but I hated practicing and going to lessons. But I'm glad that now I play the piano well!
ReplyDeleteThat's awesome!! I think Elizabeth looked at her piano lessons as more of a chore. I hoped that the joy would follow as she learned to play more difficult pieces. Hopefully we'll be able to find out one day. Our piano is no longer working, so that "chore" has been postponed indefinitely. :-(
ReplyDeleteAnyway, when you guys become the famous von Trapp family of the U.S., you'll have to let us know when your concerts are!! ;-P
Good for her! I don't know if I ever really felt joy when I was a kid and had to go to piano lessons.
ReplyDeleteOur family isn't nearly as musical as yours, but I hang onto those moments too. My son is old enough to start reaping the benefits of being able to play the piano well, and it's now "cool." He's even got a church calling along those lines, and this Sunday will be accompanying a musical number in sacrament meeting. He no longer has a desire to quit.
ReplyDeleteI secretly think having that ABBA greatest hits song book last year for him to play through might have helped. He had a ball going through that.
Joy brings musicality...technique...well, its important, but technique alone creates such a dull, flat performance. I used to know a woman who prided herself on her perfect pitch, and technically perfect singing. She was, for me, a nightmare to listen to. I don't think music really brought her joy, but she thought because she was technically good at it, she should share that technique with the world. It was awful. Joyful performances...that's where its at! What a lovely child.
ReplyDeleteThat's great, I am so glad that my kids love their lessons! I need to get better at scheduling specific practice times for them and sticking with it! I'm even starting to teach myself some piano now with an adult learning course.
ReplyDeleteSo Sweet!
ReplyDeleteI wish my parents had encouraged me to be more musical. Its truly a talent that will last them a lifetime!
I will have to read this to my 11-yr old cellist! Sweet!
ReplyDeleteUm, yeah...We haven't reached the joyful part of violin yet. Or at least not often. What a great reaction from Bria, and definitely worth celebrating.
ReplyDeleteMy kids love music, but the first two don't usually love the process of becoming musicians. The third finds it joyful almost every day. I'm hoping that the others will find the joy once they reach that point of playing with ease.
That is AWESOME!!
ReplyDeleteI just love that she said the word "joyful." I mean, how cool is that?
ReplyDeleteThe forced practices can be both good and bad. It is funny but the people who weren't forced complain that their parents didn't care enough or how they would have loved it and missed out. The people whose parents forced them to practice an instrument follow one of two paths, they either love their instrument and music or they turn 18 and harbor resentment. Talk about walking a parental tightrope right? My mom encouraged the study of an instrument, but we chose if we would play or not. We also had to earn our instruments if we wanted one by playing through the eighth grade. They wouldn't buy one before then. I was never forced and I love my instrument, but every child is different and enforcing practice time can teach hard work. Good luck, I know I am feeling the stress of this one with my brood.
ReplyDeleteWOW!!! I want my kids to say that for anything.
ReplyDeleteWOW!!! I want my kids to say that for anything.
ReplyDeleteThat is so great. You are such an example I can tell.
ReplyDeleteI was nice to get that compliment from YOU about Rachel's performance. I passed it along to her along with what I know about your background, and she says "Thanks!!!" She has had piano lessons, and took voice lessons for a short time from a teacher with dubious credentials...need to find a good teacher. Know any good ones up here in north Idaho?
ReplyDelete:~D
You should write that down and make her sign it. One time, in a rare moment of practicing glee I said, "I never want to quit violin." My mom made me sign the statement and held me to it MANY times after that!
ReplyDeleteHmmm... would you associate yourself closely with the Duttons, the Lowes or the Osmonds?
ReplyDeleteThat is great! I remember grumbling too. . . until I was 16 and could finally stop Viola and Piano. I wish now I would have stuck with it, but I am so glad my mom made me keep going. . . until I was 16 at least!
ReplyDeleteQuestion. What age do you start your kids?
Gosh I hear ya on the hating to practice. She makes me feel like I'm so mean and she dreads every single second of it. Then she gets up to perform and does so well and is so pleased with herself. I guess she figures she'd be that good with no practice?
ReplyDeleteYou may have that family performance yet. Great save, Bria!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad she loves it. I am the daughter of a musician married to an even better musician and I loathe musical instruments (for myself of course, I love listening to them).
ReplyDeleteI hope all your children have the joy of music in their hearts (and that you won't make them practice endlessly for years if, like me, they don't). I WISH I had it, I just don't.
I love everything you say here, Lara, except the part about being married to an even better musician.
ReplyDeleteI've heard you sing. I know you play piano. And I also know what it's like to put your gifts and talents aside to take on the responsibilities of raising a family. It's a sacrifice made willingly, and I'd do it exactly the same way given the opportunity.
But please don't understate your remarkable talent just because your husband is making a living at it. And when the time and season is right, I hope you jump back in with both feet. It's a WONDERFUL experience.
I can just see you guys as the next Von Traps!
ReplyDeleteThis post says it all! My husband is a violinist and I'm a pianist (of sorts). Our kids sing and play and goof off in between everything, but most especially when mama & papa play a duet. It's a righteous riot!
ReplyDeleteExactly. It's about the joy. :) I took out my cello a couple of days ago, as I had promised my parents I'd play for them. I forgot how much I really do love it.
ReplyDelete