Comments on: The Case for the Only Child

By: queendeni

queendeni — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 07:59:14 +0000

Anne-Marie, that is too funny!!

By: Anne-Marie

Anne-Marie — Sun, 10 Jul 2011 18:28:10 +0000

OH…and though I agree with Deni & previous commenter about "love multiplies, not divides"…I just had to LOL, because that is in the introduction to "Sister Wives" on TLC. (shout out to Hillary!) hehe

By: Anne-Marie

Anne-Marie — Sun, 10 Jul 2011 18:26:23 +0000

I loved your comment, Allison.
I am the youngest of 9 and I have 4 young children. I do not want 9 children, but also do not feel "done". That sort of scares me… because my plate is very, very full and I definitely feel stretched thin at times. But, the argument in having an only versus more children cannot solely be with the Mother, but what is in the best interest of the children. Which, in my opinion, is for their betterment. Having siblings teaches you so much about yourself and others. I'm sure we all wish we had more time with our parents too, though. I have several friends with only one child and I do feel jealous of their "freedom" and closeness with that child, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

By: AllisonK

AllisonK — Sat, 09 Jul 2011 08:27:47 +0000

What an interesting book. Having 9 children I do find that I am often unhappy, but it has NOTHING to do with my children and everything to do with my selfishness. My greatest joys and success come from the lives we are leading together.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 08 Jul 2011 23:17:02 +0000

I appreciate you reading and reviewing this one since it really does give a different perspective on the book. It's unfortunate that the author wasn't able to be a bit more objective, as otherwise this sounds like a fascinating book that will really make people think.

Thanks so much for being a part of the tour!

By: Pam (@iwriteinbooks)

Pam (@iwriteinbooks) — Fri, 08 Jul 2011 21:28:10 +0000

Very interesting. I was one of two, my husband is one of two and my sons will each be one of two (our second little guy is baking until October). Over the first three and a half years of our first son's life, we have both chosen and had to fill our lives with commitments. The funny thing is, Kai (our son) tends to be our DOWN time in the storm of our "adult" lives.

My husband and I are both prone to overcommitment and I think that having Kai has slowed us down considerably. We stay home on weekend nights, enjoying ourselves as a family, find calmer, less hectic ways to spend our nights and weekends and generally take things a little bit slower.

I think, often we, as a culture, give in to too much scheduling with ourselves and our children. It is possible to raise children (and even our single selves) in a simple, kind, easy and compassionate way that ensures peace whether you have no kids or 10. ;O)

By: kimberlina

kimberlina — Thu, 07 Jul 2011 08:13:07 +0000

This sort of reminds me of many comments I heard from married friends when I was in my 30s and single "You're so lucky! You get to travel and do what you want." "You have no idea how lucky you are to be single and dating." or "At least you get a full night's sleep."

All of those comments were true; I did have more time, more fun, more money, more sleep. But there is absolutely no comparison whatsoever to the joy I experience now that I'm the mother of 4 children six years old and younger. No time, little sleep, less money and SO much more joy and fulfillment.

By: Jill

Jill — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 21:56:28 +0000

I don't know about the one kid = more rest thing anyway. It seems like plenty of parents spend the energy they would use on three kids & just put it all toward that one kid, so that he or she gets parented times three.

By: Christibear

Christibear — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 16:24:49 +0000

*Don't put me in the drawing.
I had an only child for the first five years of her life. I had always intended to have at least three children, really wanted four, but the circumstances of my first marriage prevented that and I was truely depressed about it, know how close a bond my brothers and I share. Then came my husband with two girls and we quickly added a baby boy. Six years later, we have had another boy for a total of five children and I couldn't be happier. I'm a better mom, better organizer, better time-manager, better wife and daughter to my parents than I ever was being mom to an "only." My daughter really loves having so many brothers and sisters and admitted to me that she'd been wishing for them her "whole life".

By: Kazzy

Kazzy — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 01:03:22 +0000

I had the number of kids I was meant to have, and even though there have been hard times (I agree about the struggle of having a couple of kids while the hubs was getting his PhD), it has been my calling in life. I love having my 4 sons and would not redo one thing.