Comments on: How to Say “No” Graciously: 3 Steps to Make it Easier https://www.overstuffedlife.com/how-to-say-no-graciously/ purposeful parenting and simplified living Mon, 17 Jul 2023 22:46:47 +0000 hourly 1 By: Hema Unnoop https://www.overstuffedlife.com/how-to-say-no-graciously/#comment-1728 Mon, 02 Feb 2015 10:00:30 +0000 #comment-1728 Lara. You're spot on. Gosh I still do have some difficulties saying NO but I personally have improved considerably. But it's always good to be reminded. Thank you:)

]]> By: Collette https://www.overstuffedlife.com/how-to-say-no-graciously/#comment-1727 Wed, 13 Aug 2014 01:08:02 +0000 #comment-1727 Renee, you are brilliant! It's hard to make the conversion from a "yes-er" to a "no-er". You're right, people who don't respect your decisions are trying to control you. I used to always try to have an excuse for saying no. Now, I can do it just because I don't want to. It's nice to help people when you can, but sometimes, you just don't want to. And that's okay too!

]]> By: Lara https://www.overstuffedlife.com/how-to-say-no-graciously/#comment-1726 Thu, 12 Jun 2014 02:56:24 +0000 #comment-1726 You are very wise! It is hard to stick to your guns when you've been such a yes-woman for so long. I'm still finding it hard, but it does get easier!

]]> By: Renee https://www.overstuffedlife.com/how-to-say-no-graciously/#comment-1725 Wed, 11 Jun 2014 03:19:07 +0000 #comment-1725 If you have been a chronic yes-er, when you begin to say no, people will try to push past it Expect it. Instead of respecting your no, they try to solve every obstacle you put up to get a yes from you. Expect it, don't get flustered, guilted or panicked.
Instead say this very effective phrase "no that doesn't work for me".
Not: "Sorry, that doesn't work for me",
just "That doesn't work for me".
If they still attempt to push past your no, just listen calmly, and repeat the phrase, "That doesn't work for me". It works amazing well. Ive practiced saying it, practiced using it. It stops the coercion.
Remember, anyone who doesn't respect your no is ultimately, trying to control you.
Aint nobody got time for that 😉

]]> By: Lara https://www.overstuffedlife.com/how-to-say-no-graciously/#comment-1724 Thu, 29 May 2014 16:09:26 +0000 #comment-1724 I agree with you on finding joy in helping people or just having awesome experiences! Saying yes is not bad until it cuts into our health and family time. Unfortunately, as my girls continue to grow older, I can't say yes as much anymore because I'm not taking care of them, nor am I taking care of me. But I still feel a little guilt, too.

I love what Stephen R. Covey said about this: "You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage–pleasantly, smilingly, nonapologetically–to say "no" to other things. And the way to do that is by having a bigger "yes" burning inside."

I try to remember that my yeses need to be for my health and family right now, and if I have other options that will work inside that framework, then I can say yes to those, too. It's still hard. I'm in the middle of organizing a benefit concert and I am so wishing I could step down. I may step down next year because it's too much, even in the summer. 🙂

]]> By: Megan Kubasch https://www.overstuffedlife.com/how-to-say-no-graciously/#comment-1723 Wed, 28 May 2014 15:44:50 +0000 #comment-1723 Lara, I always love reading your blog. I am a yes person as well, and I struggle with it because I usually find a lot of joy in being able to say "Yes, I would love to do that for you!" But with our current situation (only one vehicle between hubby and me) I am not able to say Yes as often as I would like to. But in some ways it is a good thing, because we are prepping for a move across the country, and if I were to take on too many things right now it would be a stress-fest for everyone involved. There is always a little part of me that will feel guilty for saying No, but I know that things will probably work out in the end.

]]> By: Lara https://www.overstuffedlife.com/how-to-say-no-graciously/#comment-1722 Sat, 24 May 2014 17:49:08 +0000 #comment-1722 Exactly. I am definitely known as the one who will do anything for anybody. Though I'm really working to change that.

]]> By: Lara https://www.overstuffedlife.com/how-to-say-no-graciously/#comment-1721 Sat, 24 May 2014 17:41:53 +0000 #comment-1721 I keep a detailed planner/calendar as well, and calendaring conflicts are the easiest types of things to say no to, since there is a concrete reason not to do it. It's the ones that I could just fit in on my own time or are sort of ongoing projects (sit on the board for an organization, for instance) that I have a more difficult time with and need to really look at things more honestly.

]]> By: Sarah Krouse https://www.overstuffedlife.com/how-to-say-no-graciously/#comment-1720 Sat, 24 May 2014 14:29:51 +0000 #comment-1720 Such helpful ideas. I'm a yes person, too. Keeping a calendar really helps me keep things prioritized – I can visualize in my head, see my schedule, and see what's currently on my plate as soon as a situation arises.

]]> By: Kim (The Kim Six Fix) https://www.overstuffedlife.com/how-to-say-no-graciously/#comment-1719 Sat, 24 May 2014 06:36:03 +0000 #comment-1719 I totally have that same problem. And the more you say "yes" the harder it is to say no the next time because you feel guilty that people are relying on you. But your advice is spot on. I needed to hear it today. Great post!

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