Comments on: On the Path to More Peaceful Parenting

By: Aimee

Aimee — Mon, 03 Mar 2014 17:56:04 +0000

I too am a recovering yeller with two "spirited" children who are also overly emotional yellers. I've always thought parents like us should have our own support group. Anyway, something we do in those heated moments to help stop the yelling is to say (calmly) "I can't understand you when you shout/whine/cry. Please let me know when you're ready to have a nicer conversation." Then walk away. I can't take credit for it as I'm sure I read about that tactic in one of my many parenting books. As for a clean room, we definitely haven't figured that one out yet.

By: Unknown

Unknown — Mon, 10 Feb 2014 23:52:24 +0000

I can't believe I just randomly found your post. My third daughter is EXACTLY LIKE THIS!!!! (Yes, I am yelling.) Sigh. It's exhausting, but I am trying to be better. I have to eek out every ounce of self control, as to not break her little creative spirit! Thank you for the cleaning checklist on the other post. I'll try it out!!!

By: Audrey

Audrey — Mon, 13 Jan 2014 04:21:48 +0000

I really loved this post. I too fail at keeping my voice at a calm and sweet level all the time. I, too, feel terrible after I've yelled at my kids and never relieved as I think I'm going to feel. I appreciate your total honesty about something you genuinely struggle with. I'm certain there are many of us suffering from this. I vow to try and be better also. I've missed reading your amazing writing. Best of luck this new year!

By: Jonathan

Jonathan — Sun, 12 Jan 2014 12:01:45 +0000

It's funny – our kids rooms always look like a bomb has gone off, and we've got used to it.

We went to a Christmas party at a friends house, and the next week at work I overheard him complaining to somebody about the mess all the children invited had made. He obviously hadn't dared say it in front of me.

I very nearly had a go at him – pretty much telling him that it was no surprise he had no children – but I didn't…

Kids are kids 🙂 And they are brilliant 🙂

By: Carol

Carol — Sat, 11 Jan 2014 22:30:40 +0000

Oh no, are you trying to steal my worst mom ever award? Be kinder to yourself, it's hard when we lose it with our kids but no one is perfect and all we can do is apologize for our behavior and try harder. As for the room, I sympathize, my daughter is 20 and everything is still a disaster. I've learned over the years that it is part of her perfectionist personality, she wants things to be perfect and overwhelms herself with the need to be perfect so she gives up and doesn't try at all. Good luck!

By: L.T. Elliot

L.T. Elliot — Sat, 11 Jan 2014 18:38:24 +0000

Yelling is one of my weaknesses. And it's exactly like you said: factors other than my kids that set me on edge and drain me of patience. And that out-of-body seeing yourself thing? Hurts so much and yet I'm so grateful for moments like that because I feel like it's God's gentle hand letting me *see* so I can stop and make it better. (As better as one can, at any rate.) I am trying so hard to stop the yelling in our home. With my boys, it's one of the first things to escalate so we're all trying to walk away and have quiet time alone. With my most passionate child, it is remarkable how quickly that settle-down time changes him. He just melts (and often cries) and we hug it out and then talk about what takes us all to these places and how we can do better.
I'm glad you wrote this, Lara. I know you said you published it late last night and sometimes there's the day after regret thing, but I really am glad you wrote it. I cried a couple of times reading it because don't all mommies feel this? And knowing someone else feels it and is just trying their very best, helps. So thank you. Because it does help.

By: Hilary

Hilary — Sat, 11 Jan 2014 16:44:19 +0000

I am a yeller… It's hard, because sometimes I have to yell to get them to come to breakfast….
I am working on it, sometimes I a
play referee with the boys and a lie
The yelling is necessary…
And then thee was the day Conner stole my atm card…

By: Brittney

Brittney — Sat, 11 Jan 2014 16:04:53 +0000

My daughter is named Sophia…with the same bed in a pink room that never stays clean. I completely understand. We also have similar bedding in the rooms. Anyway, I understand. I stay in her room and watch her finish cleaning. She is younger and staying on task is difficult. Good luck with the room!

By: Shannon

Shannon — Sat, 11 Jan 2014 15:52:53 +0000

Oh honey, I could have written this with my first daughter. She is 16 now, and years ago I decided to stop yelling. It has made such a difference. Like you, I struggled with it and man, it is hard. ((hugs)) to you! (found you on 2 peas, I am lovemybabes there) 🙂 ~Shannon