Black & Blue January | Overstuffed Overstuffed

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Black & Blue January

The world really is black and white in winter here.  As proof, this picture is in color.  The sky is usually white, the ground is white, and nearly everything else is black or grey.  My red car almost seems out of place, like a colorized element in a black & white photograph.
The spring is pastel, green and pink and a little bit of purple.  Hopeful colors. A hint of bolder color to come, even if there is still a little bit of snow on the ground. Because somewhere, underneath that snow, are flowers and grass just waiting to push up and begin to brighten the world.

The summer months are bright yellow.  And blue--but the good kind of blue.  It's the blue that you see as you lie on the grass in July and stare up at the sky to make sense of the clouds.  The beautiful blue of the lake where you seek respite from the heat of the sun.  The kind of blue that you wish would never end.

Autumn brings gold, and orange, and brown.  Warm and affectionate colors that make you want to cozy up with your family and friends and eat big dinners together--laughing, talking, remembering.  Making more memories. Dreaming that time could stand still.  Living.

December is red and green and gold and silver.  It is festive, despite the snow on the ground and the frostiness in the air.  It is twinkling lights and merry children singing Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer and Silent Night.  It is Christmas Cards and Christmas trees, Christmas dresses and Christmas gifts.  It is the Greatest Gift.  It is joy.

And then comes January.  January is blue at first.  But it isn't a summer blue.  This blue is icy and cold.  There is just enough color to get through the day, but the day is short and the dark comes more quickly than is welcome.  Soon, January turns completely black.  Time really does stand still, nothing gets done, and the thought of spring seems too much to hope for.  Gloomy, black January stretches out before you--eternal snow, eternal cold, eternal dark.

That black of January is upon me.  When it is still blue, I resolve that I will somehow power through it this time.  I have my light, I have lists of things to do, I have the will.  I can put one foot in front of the other and survive this month. I did well this year, but I hit a wall this last weekend.  A wall that not even an iron will could break through. I couldn't put one foot in front of the other anymore, and I spent the entirety of my Saturday sprawled out on a bean bag, wrapped in a blanket watching Downton Abbey.  All 9 available episodes.  I let the kitchen go to pots and pans, all dirty.  I didn't make my bed.  I ignored my email inbox.  I didn't care what kind of messes the girls made.  I didn't do much to plan Primary on Sunday.  I didn't practice.  I didn't care if the girls practiced.  I didn't move. And I'm still recovering.

Don't worry about me, though.  I am beginning to see past the black and blue, and not far off is the pink of February.  And that little bit of pink means focusing on the ones I love, which always brings me out of any funk.

Even the January one.

13 comments :

  1. Hang in there friend. Your descriptions are very apt, and ring very true with me. My wall always comes in February, and I am hoping to power through it this year. January has been better than normal, so I am hoping February zips by without notice. Thinking of you.

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  2. Not a fan of January. I always think of you and your Romanian "days that bite" though and it gives me a good laugh when I look out and the day teases me.

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  3. I have always thought of January as a blue month. And your description matched my mood last week almost exactly. It was just a do-nothing sort of feeling.

    I've been recovering for the last couple days and I hope the dark is finally over for me this year.

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  4. I have those black days every once in awhile. But then I end up enjoying them so much that I have to try and avoid it so they don't become habit:) Snuggling in a blanket with a TV marathon sounds glorious right now.

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  5. I love Downton Abbey. I've been watching it as it comes out on KUED.

    I like your descriptions of color. January is a hard month for lots of people. Luckily Feb. is in sight and then March isn't too far behind. Thinking of you.

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  6. a. Turn on your fancy light.
    b. You can peek at my blog, it' so cute and arizona-y. :) Did I mention I'm planting right now? It's like we live in different hemispheres....

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  7. Love it! So well said. Thanks for your colorful words and we all need a "Downtown Abbey" day every so often, as long as we don't stick there too long... :)

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  8. Yes, January is a toughie. I think it was harder when I was home all day, to be honest. Now that I have to get up and showered and put on a happy face in the morning it has helped me to feel a little brighter. Best wishes.

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  9. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to go find color in that snowy world and capture it on camera (like your car in a snowy backdrop).

    I definitely have trouble on the dark cold days too. I notice such a difference in how I feel when the sun shows its face for a couple of hours. I accomplish so much more and feel so much lighter. I'm going to try to start exercising in the morning, even though I don't feel like it and see if that helps.

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  10. Oh, I hear that. I don't have full-on S.A.D., but all those grey days in the winter here get to me by January, and I know a lot of people here who just about go out of their skulls in all this rain.

    But maybe there's some beauty to be found in the quietness of it all, and some joy in ignoring that inbox. Maybe it's the sitting, and the recovering, and the Downton Abbey that brings you back to center—maybe January is that deep breath you take before you dive into the rest of the year. You'll never breathe underwater, so maybe that extra air is just what you need. Hang in there.

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  11. January is usually a very tough month for me too. The excitement & magic of Christmas is abrubtly over and the gloom of winter sets in. This one has been better because I have had the cruise to look forward to. Hey...just know that sometimes, we all have days like that. Mom's get the right to be in a funk for a while and the kids are OK. The guilt sets in for me, but in the big picture, they are fine and it's OK. I love you!

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  12. Amen to that, right? I don't think January makes me depressed?, but definitely annoyed. :) I get it.

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  13. I'm just not a winter fan. Period.

    And I LOVE Downton Abbey!!!!!

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