Black and White
This is what we woke up to this morning. May I remind you that it is April 4? And yes, I am aware that this is happening all over the country, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. We’re coming up on 6 months of winter and I am so ready to get my personality back. This has been a difficult winter for me as far as my mental health goes.
FYI: I did not convert this picture to Black and White. What you are looking at is full color. Sometimes I feel like my world is Black and White, and shades of Grey. I haven’t seen my lawn in ages and the sky is generally overcast (although spring has been coming through with some lovely blue skies the past few weeks).
All that said, I do have to admit that it’s quite beautiful to look at, as much as I look forward to color.
Speaking of my mental health, even though this year has been my most difficult bout with SAD yet, I feel like I am finally ready to be healthy–physically healthy, and that has definitely helped my mental health. On the days that I go to the gym and run, I feel so much better. Changing my diet has improved my ability to deal with the stresses life brings. I am calmer when dealing with my children, even though I still feel like I am not myself.
Conference this past weekend was wonderful, too. Wonderful for my spiritual health, if somewhat painful as I examined my failings and the things I desperately need to improve upon. Elder Scott’s talk was particularly poignant for me and I admit to bawling through the majority of it.
I am so extremely blessed to have a husband as wonderful as The Maestro: who totally supports me and loves me despite my many struggles. I take him for granted too often. I cried both because of my gratitude for him, and because I am nothing like the wife Elder Scott describes in his Janine, and yet he loves me so much anyway. Oh how I long to be the kind of wife who “with grace and devotion live[s] with full feminine splendor of her righteous womanhood!”
I’m working on it.
PS: I am such a dork. I ran a giveaway like two weeks ago for Miss Delacourt Has Her Day, and I drew the winner and everything. But somewhere along the line I completely forgot to post it. Julie! You win! I’ll get the book to you ASAP.
Eek! Thank you so much, Lara. You just made my day! That photo really is stunning, but so sad for an April 4, I agree. We woke up to six inches of snow at our place yesterday too. Here's hoping Spring will REALLY come visit us both soon.
Yay for Julie, I love her!
I was wondering if you changed to b/w or if that was true colors. So sorry, even though as you said, it is pretty.
I am waiting for spring as well. I think it is hard when we get tricked here in N. Utah. Snow, rain, green grass, snow, rain, green grass..repeat over and over.
Hang in there, spring will come here and there.
(I have seen Heidi's books so much around blogosphere..I'm going to order them – I can't wait to read them)
I loved Elder Scott's talk, too! And I hated waking up to seeing snow. Grr.
The pucture is gorgeous!! I too, have been suffering from too much sadness. I am just starting to admit that I have issues (hard to do) and I too bawled my eyes out during Elder Scott's entire talk (and for the same reasons as you). Seems like we have more in common that we knew!!
We woke to a similar scene yesterday. Saturday, we BAR-B-QUED and spent the entire time between sessions outside in sandals. Cruel, I tell you.
Did you hear that in Norway or Finland (somewhere in Scandinavia) the government actually issued light boxes to the citizens? Winters there are bad enough to warrant gov't intervention. They could turn on the light boxes for 4 hours each day.
Oh Winter, it just needs to go away and leave us alone! That photo is beautiful, but I feel for you. I get depressed in the wintertime as well. I need the sunshine to really feel my best. I can only imagine. But remember your fall? The most beautiful fall photos I have ever seen, so you were a little spoiled in that. Just looking for a silver lining here. 🙂
Elder Scott's talk was divine and inspiring, wasn't it? I want to be so much like his Janine as well. She is a saint, isn't she? It is good to have people like that as an example. It is very motivating.
Although I know in your neck of the woods winter is longer than it is here in CT, it is April 4th and that must give you some hope because it can't last that much longer, can it? 🙂
We were close to 60 today (that's colder than average) and I'm looking out at my lawn and the vibrant greens of spring are starting to come. Oh, how I love the beginning of each season!
Elder Scott's talk was my favorite too!!! I told Derek the same thing about me–sorry, I am definitely not the same caliber of wife that he married, but like you said, we're all working on ourselves and that's the best we can do.
In other news, when I turned on the TV too early this morning to workout it was still on the BYU channel from conference watching the day before and guess who I saw? Your mom!
Sorry your winter has been rough. We are having schizophrenic weather here–90 degrees yesterday in the day and then insane, damaging, huge hail at 9 pm. Today has been cold.
Anyway I think the tree photo is so gorgeous and it would make a good quilt. 🙂
Lara, I'm with you Sis! This winter has been rough on my mental health too. I was in such a markedly better mood when we had lovely sunshine & spring weather the other day. Joel has always spoken of you like an Angel wife! I don't think I've ever heard him say anything that wasn't positive about you. I love that.
Well, just keep remembering that this too shall pass away. Hopefully spring will come soon and you will be warm. I also loved conference. It was so amazing.
To my very dear friend, the one that I don't think I have ever seen raise her voice even when "all you know what" is breaking around her……you are too hard on yourself. We can be our own worst enemies – we find it easy to forgive others but not ourselves.
Since I had tears welling up in my eyes just reading your post – I probably would have been crying if I had listened to Elder Scott's talk too!
I do agree about the exercise…that is why even the 11 and 8 year old females in our house walk on the treadmill during the winter. I really don't care how many shows on Netflix they watch while they are walking on it – as long as attitudes are better when they get off of it. Remember in the fall – we can walk every morning!
We keep getting teaser sunny weather. It was like 75 on Sunday in IL, then suddenly chilly and rainy. Today is somewhere in between and I am grateful for the sun, even if it's chilly. That picture is gorgeous, but I feel your pain! I found conference to be very uplifting this weekend too!
Lara, you are amazing… I love how you word things. I appreciate you sharing your life with us. I've been talking to my Mom about you and she always struggles through the winter as well. It has helped her to know of others who feel the same way.
We are so blessed to have the Gospel in our lives! I loved Elder Scott's talk too 🙂 I told Zeke I feel like a total failure after hearing Elder Scott describe his wife… Zeke said, "Well, you're you." I'm not sure what he meant, I'm working on it too!
That picture is awesome really, even though it seems kind of dreary.
Snow would seriously push me over the edge right now. Today it's supposed to be sunny and 70 degrees. I'm praying this lovely spring weather sticks around!
(If I could send it your way, I totally would!)
That WAS such a moving talk, very memorable! What a gorgeous picture. I was laughing a bit, because we were just up in SLC over Spring Break (for us Arizonans) and I was editing my pictures while watching General Conference. Was showing the kids that WE WERE THERE which was cool, and then comparing what it looked like in March (green, just starting to grow new buds) to last weekend when everthing was covered in white!